Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML
Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML
Today, my wife finally let our kids stay the night at my mom's house, meaning we had our first night totally alone together in 6 years. She spent all night texting my mom for updates on the kids or on the phone to her sister, so I watched a film by myself then went to bed bored at 8:15 p.m. FML
Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML
Today, I spent one night with my phone turned off so I could finally relax. When I turned it back on I had 17 missed calls from siblings wanting to moan about their spouses, 5 calls from mom, 6 from dad, 2 from work, and 2 from my ex. I think I’ve earned some time alone, don’t you? FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
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Top comments
hiyourcute 0
Well, Sheldon could drive any woman to cheat...
DocBastard 40
Imagine what his reaction would have been if you'd said you'd be spending the night with Two and a Half Men.
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Comments (106)
ArielTheMermaid 17
Oh Leonard is a magnificent beast! xD
Strwbry3Shortcke 8
Either he's incredibly jealous or just plain stupid. Either way, why don't you take a little more time to decide on your next boyfriend? You clearly need to work on your taste in men.
railynn23 5
Leonard is cute(: but Sheldon in real life is gay. Haha.
laurenmacias 0
Wow
letsgooo_fml 23
Say, "Yeah I was cheating on you with Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard... Bazinga!"
MDTeddy 13
It's always nice to hear the hits.
alfred07 18
If OP were cheating I imagine they wouldn't be stupid enough to post about it on Facebook.
GatorPiss 2
You've got a bright one there.
theravenalmighty 9
Time for a new boyfriend.
theravenalmighty 9
Time for a new boyfriend.