By BigDT - 28/01/2012 08:35

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 770
You deserved it 4 065

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Actually, having a woman not touch your package in the past four and a half years is probably why you have a health issue down there in the first place.


Wait for it, either you will find the right one or she will find you and THEN you can get intimate as much as you want!

Aww. It's alright OP. There's always time to find true love. :)

#6 - "THEN you can get intimate as much as you want!" You've obviously never been married mate. :L

Yeah because the 15 year old kid giving us all the finger definitely knows about marriage.

So being 15 means that I cannot understand the fact that being married doesn't mean you can demand intimacy whenever you want it?

It just sounded like you had experienced it yourself...

nah.. but my mother has been married twice and I guess I thought it was just a mutual understanding that marriage/long term commitment doesn't mean you can get intimate when ever you want to. At least that's what I was brought up to believe. But what do I know, eh? I'm just a silly 15 year old. (;

PenguinSwag47 0

The ultrasound tech: O.o The guy: *Staring awkwardly at the ceiling to avoid eye contact*

I thought this was going to be an "inappropriate boner" fml...

RedPillSucks 31

There are inappropriate boners? Where's everybodylovesboners when he's needed?

shit last time my package was touched was when my mom changed my diapers.

jacob4592 0

No worrys mate if you get a hard on tell herit's a complement :-)

If that's actually you, you are super hot????

That sucks bro, I hope you find your true love soon!

okiidokii_fml 6

Maybe consider her fml: Today at work I had to touch this extremly ugly guys "package" FML

Doesn't mean he's ugly. Maybe just socially awkward.

Requim 0

Or maybe he just doesn't know how to approach a women

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Or maybe we can all just say essentially the same thing.

I think he just isn't enough of a pig to walk up to a girl and say grab my junk bitch. I know some guys that are and it's messed up.

I agree with 36. I don't exactly think I'm ugly, I'm just really awkward around guys. My appearance has nothing to do with the fact that I haven't had a boyfriend in a year; it's just that I don't have the courage to talk to them.

Can agree with 36 as well. Been there (when it comes to girls of course).

Can agree with 36 as well. Been there (when it comes to girls of course).

g_ayvel 11

Hopefully everything turned out ok with your ultra sound at least that Would make your day better

Well he could have been getting it for any number of reasons, one being that he had a growth in his sac, possibly a cyst or tumor. If it is benign, than he will keep his penis for another day...

WTFjizzinmypantz 0

Eh couldnt of been that bad right?

A bright side to this Fml. On the bright side. This guy got his packaged played with by a attractive chick!

Actually, having a woman not touch your package in the past four and a half years is probably why you have a health issue down there in the first place.

It's okay man. A lot of guys go through the same problem.

perdix 29

No, they don't. Very few guys go 4-1/2 years without getting their packages touched. If they can't get someone to willingly touch it after a year, they can hire someone to do the 'job.

cyK0tek 0

Lol right #29. I'd rather not get my package touched, then pay for it to get touched.

perdix 29

#41, you'd go 4-1/2 years without getting it touched before you'd think of paying a pro? I've never had a dry spell quite that bad, so I've never paid for junk-touching, but I wonder if I went without for a few years, would I consider it? I don't know.

Sanch101 7

So 41 would rather not get their package touched and then pay for it to be touched. I thought that was the way it usually worked?

I've gone 4 1/2 yrs without a womans touch down there. When I divorced my first wife, I didn't flirt with a woman again for over 5 yrs when I met my current wife. The main reason why? Kids. I put their happiness and joy ahead of my own.

perdix 29

#72, you self-righteous prick, if you really put your kids before all, you would have stuck with their mother, no matter what.

perdix 29

I'm sure your insurance will cover a few more follow-up visits, but when that runs out, you can always find professional package-touchers on craigslist, although they won't have the high-tech equipment and might not be very attractive.

Haha OP's is going to be going to the hospital all the time now lot get 'checked out'. "Nurse I have a really painful feeling down below, I need to see Dr. ____." "She's not in today but come this way and we'll get you looked at right away". "never mind they feel better" *leaves*

Doesn't matter, had sex? ....or not in this case....