Baby daddy

By Unculturedsimp - 19/05/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I got her pregnant and didn't own up to it. I wouldn't have blamed her if it didn't actually happen in her dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 148

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Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By dreamdude - 20/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 375

You deserved it 4 066

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 747

You deserved it 3 662

By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 03:14

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 381

You deserved it 1 340

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 544

You deserved it 1 989

Do you remember?

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 444

You deserved it 1 806

By thissucks - 20/06/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 635

You deserved it 6 915

Self-fulfilling prophecy

By Dave - 04/10/2012 14:44 - United States

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 939

You deserved it 3 809

By Username - 20/08/2011 09:20 - United States

Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 481

You deserved it 2 678

By Anonymous - 20/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 503

You deserved it 265

Slipped up

By Nicko - 28/03/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 225

123Puppy 33

Tuesday 19 May 2020 17:11

She’s stupid.

sarsuela 29

Tuesday 19 May 2020 17:28

You dodged a bullet

Comments

123Puppy 33

Tuesday 19 May 2020 17:11

She’s stupid.

sarsuela 29

Tuesday 19 May 2020 17:28

You dodged a bullet

Kraths 16

Tuesday 19 May 2020 19:00

there are so many unanswered questions and the phrasing makes this confusing

Sady_Ct 37

Tuesday 19 May 2020 22:34

She had a dream where he got her pregnant, and is mad at him for not taking responsibility for the dream pregnancy, so she dumped him.

Kayyyy 1

Tuesday 19 May 2020 23:30

This sounds oddly familiar to the first FML 🤔

Gina Marie Lombardi 14

Tuesday 19 May 2020 23:36

She sounds like a nut. Be glad she broke up with you

skippydoda 32

Wednesday 20 May 2020 7:10

You don't need crazy like that. Run fast, run far

Bamisoep 9

Wednesday 20 May 2020 10:07

Leave her, the Gods gave you a warning via her dream.

Mayaaaaaaaaa 12

Wednesday 20 May 2020 16:49

Are you with the girl from a few FMLs up? She apparently was pregnant in her dream. App sharing, how cute!

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The Top

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864 949

You deserved it 95 036

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 105

You deserved it 3 393

The Top

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 861

You deserved it 416

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 907

You deserved it 8 596

Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 245

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 539

You deserved it 17 407

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 091

You deserved it 29 164

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 125

You deserved it 4 989