Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Actually, having a woman not touch your package in the past four and a half years is probably why you have a health issue down there in the first place.
BrightBrownEyes 11
Awkward.
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Comments (106)
sasha_is_my_name 5
Did he 'come up and alive'? ;D lolz
goodgood_fml 5
I know how you feel, OP. It's been 2 years for me. Focus on your health now. It's more important. Hope you find someone soon.
maiamafia 6
No wonder you need to get your cojones checked OP.
KiddNYC1O 22
Hope you had a ball.
Capt_Awesome137 0
I had one of those. My tech was pretty attractive too. It's a tad awkward but nothing too bad
sball11 4
Glad you finally got someone to touch your dick but sad you had to have health problem to do it!! That's pitiful!!(:
bitchesbcrazy 0
You definitely didn't just repeat what the OP said. . .
Fmlsea 28
Go out more ,don't be afraid to put urself out there u never know u might succeed remember behind every rejection is a little wisdom
zjones84 2
Been there! As far as the ultrasound. Hope u don't have cancer
Crispy__Lips 0
Gotta get it somehow.(;
Gardevoir_fml 12
You should have looked ger right in the face and said, "So what are we gonna do about it."