Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Actually, having a woman not touch your package in the past four and a half years is probably why you have a health issue down there in the first place.
BrightBrownEyes 11
Awkward.
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Comments (106)
deadlyriot101 7
So... Guys touch your junk all the time, but not women?
Rocky007 15
I had one of those once. Cute girl, warm oil, and a lot of rubbing. Best medical procedure I ever had!
Track1991 0
Sad life, but at least you're not a *****.
sknabc123 8
As soon as I read ".... Was a very attractive woman" I thought it was gunna say that you got a hard on lol... That would be more embarrassing :p
xiBuzzifyx 0
I know the feeling. I had to get one too.
nite66 21
She saw your junk. Get those digit.
linkinpark98 24
This is more than awkward......
Zkenny13 6
With that warm jelly I don't understand how you wouldn't get a boner!
cscott3131 0
Get out there and meet some new people! It's a big world!
jacob4592 0
It happens man don't need to have a million girls touch your sack:-) your good