Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
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Top comments
maskedman 9
Actually, having a woman not touch your package in the past four and a half years is probably why you have a health issue down there in the first place.
BrightBrownEyes 11
Awkward.
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Comments (106)
punchline_fml 5
Now you have something to look forward to every 4 and a half years
railfanner123 0
You should get out and find someone.
DocBastard 40
You should have told her that your "health condition" was a full scrotum, and only she could help you.
Marcella1016 32
17 before I realized who you were, I couldn't help but imagine your photo being the guy's ******** sack. But being DocBastard, the photo could actually be one (although it probably isn't and I'm just a lowly mortal who doesn't know the difference between the xray of a ballsack and the xray of...whatever that is). Going to your blog right now to find out what it is...love seeing your posts, and especially trying to guess the mystery objects on your xrays lol
j_cat187 20
Medicinal hand-job XD
Mayberry_Brown 9
25, it's a woman's skull.
MedKits 9
Me thinks it's a CT slice, actually.
dtbomb 3
I thought this was going to go somewhere else, you know somewhere harder.
dabomb1463 0
That sucks dude but maybe you could go to a club and pick up a girl there?
cjg2013 0
should've asked her to help ya out! YDI for being a girl. no wonder its been 4 and a half years.
dtfickus 0
U deserved it in a good way
perdix 31
It's a good thing ultrasounds are monochromatic. Your blue color would probably be on the cover of urology textbooks.
perdix 31
It's a good thing ultrasounds are monochromatic. Your blue color would probably be on the cover of urology textbooks.
Redoxx_fml 22
Getting ultrasound and I jizzed in my pants!