Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I went to have a vaginal ultrasound. The nurse walked me back and I got undressed. She said the tech doing the procedure would be right in. It was my preacher's son. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I became aroused when slight pressure was applied to my throat. I was having an ultrasound done to have my thyroid gland and a lump under my chin looked at by an old male doctor. My mom was present. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
maskedman 9
Actually, having a woman not touch your package in the past four and a half years is probably why you have a health issue down there in the first place.
BrightBrownEyes 11
Awkward.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
AugustBurnsToast 14
I'm so sorry man
Summera 2
Well at least you didn't get a boner, OP.
RokNRoll11 9
Well, in times of hardship and doubt my friend, as long as you have the chance. Call me weird but you can ask a woman out just don't get too high on hope.
surfnshred 2
Sorry to hear that bro did you hit on the doctor when it happened. You never know what could happen.
Calyx_fml 22
Got Wood?
mama2b3 20
I'm more worried about your health issues...something in that area could be pretty serious. I hope you're alright op
bubo_fml 11
Did you crack wood or get a happy ending?
Sanch101 7
Look on the bright side. When I had some issues in the same area it was a middle aged bloke with the machine.
unachicahermosa 5
IT'S OKAY IT'S PROBABLY JUST A small ISSUE. ;)
phatdaddy62 23
Hookers are cheaper than an ultrasound.