By boopingsnoot

Ready for the grill!

Today, at work, the chest freezer was accidentally turned off. I work at a vet and the freezer is our morgue. It got opened before anyone realized the contents had thawed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4923

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302

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Animals

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Academia ain't for everyone

Bad Moon Rising

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31626

You deserved it

6505

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By krushr - Canada

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32220

You deserved it

5309

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By Bito - France

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19093

You deserved it

12201

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By elevenharries - United Kingdom

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21955

You deserved it

42041

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By Al - Australia - Turramurra

Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13234

You deserved it

1232

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By Cora - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. His response was, "Thank god, finally." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31680

You deserved it

9052

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By atomwolf - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4968

You deserved it

11907

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50268

You deserved it

3033

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By what.....? - United States

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21804

You deserved it

2105

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By saynotochrispine - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48116

You deserved it

7881

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By lonely - United Kingdom

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39581

You deserved it

3546

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44639

You deserved it

19922

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By jibberish - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15652

You deserved it

38881

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By Panda Man - United States - Seattle

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2841

You deserved it

125

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By Anonymous - United States - Hollywood

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25478

You deserved it

5957

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By Oh really - Australia

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me. When I asked what it was called she said, "He's just not that into you". FML

I agree, your life sucks

23736

You deserved it

2292

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By worsethanzombies - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34019

You deserved it

4851

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By socargone

Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5327

You deserved it

1874

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got nearly kicked out of the room I rent because I refuse to close my curtains at night. Apparently, my landlady thinks it doesn't look nice when people pass by and look. My room is on the third floor and I just want to see the stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23460

You deserved it

1856

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By Username - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38581

You deserved it

3699

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27380

You deserved it

4505

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By gl0b3suck0r - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24317

You deserved it

4593

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By BatWife - United States - New London

Today, my husband cleaned out our fireplace and found a very dead, mummified bat. After chasing me around the house with it, he set it atop the mantel. He refuses to get rid of it, and calls it "Henry". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4808

You deserved it

585

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By fishy situation

Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4966

You deserved it

366

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By Anonymous

Today, I told my boyfriend that eventually I want to get my ears pinned back because I think that they stick out too much. I pulled my hair back to show him, and he said, "Yeah, they're different sizes too, and the left one sticks out more than the right one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1515

You deserved it

501

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By effinit - United States

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29006

You deserved it

6592

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By Dor51 - United States - Tacoma

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38214

You deserved it

3004

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By ev_lyn_aw

Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker's extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker's efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6770

You deserved it

420

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By badmom - Ireland

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38004

You deserved it

8641

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By Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37918

You deserved it

3859

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By ick - United States

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9604

You deserved it

59973

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By chlolivia - Canada

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31646

You deserved it

4372

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By Fackwork - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33047

You deserved it

9998

Favorite

By noname - United States

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45197

You deserved it

6020

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By bronco_lover89 - United States - Essexville

Today, after months of using the empty driveway across the street from my house, a note was placed under my windshield wiper. It read, "Please stop parking in my driveway. P.S. You’re hot. Are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

8896

You deserved it

39236

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By TingBarter - United States

Today, I heard a student in the class I assist having trouble with a download. I walked over and showed him how to save to his flash drive, and how to use 7z to unzip said file. I then found out I'd just assisted him in downloading a half gig of porn during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44724

You deserved it

9517

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By Anonymous - United States - Cedar Park

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24924

You deserved it

11086

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By FamilySecret - United States

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58671

You deserved it

4789

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By Sean - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7226

You deserved it

53611

Favorite

By Loveless - Canada

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57359

You deserved it

8168

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Top comments

By ThatIsSoFetch | 7

#7523571 - Saturday 5 August 2017 21:59

I can't even imagine the horror that poor person experienced as soon as they opened that freezer. Gag.

By gatorclay97 | 28

#7523444 - Saturday 5 August 2017 20:05

Dear god...

COMMENTS

By gatorclay97 | 28

#7523444 - Saturday 5 August 2017 20:05

Dear god...

By species4872 | 19

#7523470 - Saturday 5 August 2017 20:23

The cat did it.

By Bubbles77777 | 11

#7523472 - Saturday 5 August 2017 20:25

Eww oh my gosh, I know the smell was horrible!!

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7523510 - Saturday 5 August 2017 21:08

Febreeze, you need a shit ton of it.

By ThatIsSoFetch | 7

#7523571 - Saturday 5 August 2017 21:59

I can't even imagine the horror that poor person experienced as soon as they opened that freezer. Gag.

By trainerchickie | 6

#7523679 - Saturday 5 August 2017 23:44

I work at a vet clinic as well and our deep freeze is the morgue. It smells like death as is. I can only imagine what it'd smell like unthawed.

Miss_Whipped | 43

#7524635 - Sunday 6 August 2017 18:06

Unthawed? :)

By J352SAURUS | 30

#7523683 - Saturday 5 August 2017 23:46

I just gagged a little bit. Dear God. I'm so sorry OP.

By vanaathiel | 13

#7523703 - Sunday 6 August 2017 0:03

I work at an animal control facility that also deals with roadkill. That happened to the freezer we had specifically for skunks. It was horrible.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7523705 - Sunday 6 August 2017 0:05

Someone’s gonna has some ‘splaining to do!

“Accidentally” turned the freezer off?

By littlelia | 22

#7524078 - Sunday 6 August 2017 6:23

When I was going to school to be an animal health tech, there was a deep freeze in our classroom filled with corpses for dissection. One day there was a funky smell in the classroom, but the instructor thought it was the garbage, until after class. She opened the freezer, which happened to be next to my table I was leaving, and needless to say, it hadn't been working for a while. They took the whole thing to the dump and febreezed the room and hallway.