By spekledworf - 02/05/2011 21:30 - United States

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 267
You deserved it 26 503

spekledworf tells us more.

i had a panic attack and started to stutter out of nervousness, and just said fuck it and gave up

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that's what you get for being a dumb ass

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that's what you get for being a dumb ass

go back to second grade and get coordinated

Osama's dead dead dead dead dead way to go America. woohoo what are you gonna do now?

They didn't account for handicapped people, did they?

I can't say the alphabet backwards and I broke my foot in highschool and can't really walk a straight line.

LOL I failed walking in a straight line after 2 beers :/

damn talk about being a lightweight! I bet they were light beers to like bud light or something along those line. hahahaha amazing

#50 the op said they were completely sober so how are they a light weight??

lol it was coors I think

you must be one of the special children

I was talking about #40 and she got it so that's all that matters.... not that hard to figure out who I directed that to..

60- just stop. you're embarrassing yourself.

oooh snap #61! I knew it was a light beer. Count it!! lol

haha no worries #71

And you don't know your alphabet how?...

I can understand not walking in a straight line but not being able to recite the alphabet? People like you amaze me.

haha wow that's pretty sad

go buy yourself "alphabet for dummies". very good book full of explainations.

Um, 82, you do realize that that is Darth Maul in your profile picture, right?

Yes I am perfectly aware of that.

OK, just checking. I love Grievous as much as the next gal, but Darth Maul is probably my least favorite villain. I was confused by your profession of love for Grievous, yet lack of matching profile pic.

Really? I think Darth Maul is cool, but not as awesome as Grievous.

lemme guess - ENEMENOPE?

143- N-N-N-NERRRDGASM

so it was basically a test proving your stupidity at the wrong moment .. ur a dumby mistaken as a drunk .. good job

Xviem, you're calling OP the dumbass? dumbass is one word, dumbass.

Can you even spell your name?!

178- 'dumb' and 'ass' can be two separate word as well. Get ur shit str8 before you correct someone else who isnt actualy wrong.

lol people's comments are better than the actual fml!! haha

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god

208 haha I say that all the time

officer, id like to take the breathalyzer please

I rather spell dumb ass wrong then not kno my abc's lol

dayyuum dude you even drunk when you're SOBER!!

maybe you would pass if you were drunk....

I thought they made you recite the alphabet backwards . under pressure like that in my opinion would be hard to do.

haha that would suck ^^

try he was nervous out of his mind!!! let's see you do it dingus

if your sober don't do any sobriety tests. or do the breathalyzer. if the cop is smart he will tell you to bail. cuz if he takes you to jail and you blow 0.00 you'll have yourself a law suit.

OP: A B C D...something something Z Cop:....

Maybe OP was extremely nervous? I've heard a lot of stories where the people were in fact sober, yet they get so frazzled that they manage to mess everything up.

what seems to be the officer, problem?

Compound word? Welcome to grade 1!

screw u if don't like earth maul.

Lmao, earth maul.

They do make you recite the alphabet backwards, I thought that was pretty common knowledge unless they do those drug education programs differently now o.o but idk about the rest of you; I cant do my backwards abcs sober... o.o

your dads condom was a fail OoOoOo

not really. this sort of thing happening is not uncommon. there was a survey and most admitted to being unable to recite the alphabet backwards. what do we do when this happens? especially on account of the drivers who become awkward/bumbling fools with unneccesary nervousness when in the presence of the po-po. well it has been agreed, on many occassions, that a simple breathalyzer would suffice.

it said recite the alphabet. Not recite the alphabet backwards.

Biggest fail of the year

biggest most epic spectacular fail of the year

41- I respectfully disagree. Katie The Great is quite cute and therefore, her dad achieved great success after the condom failure. Your comment, on the other hand, is a fail since it got thumbs down :(

if you were drunk you wouldnt be in this mess.

133, that's not her. that picture is on google..

I agree with 53 ive seen that picture bunch of times on photobucket

41 - Are you seven years old or something? First off, you can't say "oooo" to your own joke and secondly, the fact that you said that "joke" makes me believe you were actually serious, which in turn makes me believe that you truly are mentally disabled. Jesus Christ, people will never learn...

41 Is a fail.

*gasp* I've been google fooled on FML!!

I agree with the dog cleaning the back yard!

Katie don't fake pics I've seen that pic everywhere xD

wow op really did fail, hard!

wow u wish that condom could fit you

Katie that is still the same person!

Couldn't have said it better myself lol

No, you didn't. No adult would fail to walk in a straight line or recite your ABCs. Fake.

I wonder how many chicks on here are using fake photos of themselves... o.o

good thing only the breathalyzer mstter

Actually, you're statement is incredibly false. The whole process of a DUI or DWI is taken into account. The only test that can not be argued is a blood test. those unfortunately are typically only done when the investigation is do to a traffic crash. ANYWAY.. :|

good thing op thought he was sober. he thought.

#181, Actually you are wrong. Yes, you can refuse the breathalyzer and lose your license for a year through DMVs Implied Consent. Yes, you can refuse SFTs as well. Neither of these two things will prevent you from being arrested, taken to jail and lodged. And yes you are permitted to have a blood test, but it will not and does not have to happen before you go to jail. Police Officers are not required to take you to get your blood taken and you will pay for it yourself.

lol seriously who cares????

194 very true. the only thing is that if you already been charged with a DUI and you refuse a breathalyzer you will be in way more trouble. if you refuse a breathalyzer on your first offense it's better than getting a dewey. if you refuse and you have a record you'll get fucked for refusing

204 - People that don't know the law deserve it when they get locked up on a bullshit charge. Care.

hmm ok yeah that makes since ^^

i have the feeling you guys have been pulled over a lot if you know these laws by heart. see, most people would just figure that drinking + driving = no. but i applaud you for your knowledge on the topic.

231 ive never gotten pulled over haha :)

congrats! we need more drivers like you on the road 232 :)

238.. woo hoo! lol : D

Or perhaps they have jobs that require a complete understanding of certain laws and policies---just a thought though;).

Or perhaps, I'm the one doing the pulling over..

Seriously? How old are you? You can't recite the alphabet? Wow!

ha haaa wow!! maybe you shouldn't have dripped outta school at the age of 6......

dropped** not dripped sorry

They're old enough to drive and they can't recite the alphabet. This amazes me.

he probably meant recite the alphabet backwards

Some one failed their ABD's...

honestly I don't thinking could say them backwards when in sober

you do know that when your pulled for for a possible dwi/DUI they haw you recite the alphabet back wards which most people can't do

98- "when in sober"? wow, it sounds like you're pretty fitshaced right now buddy :)

Actually, 152, they don't. If they do, they'll likely have their case thrown out. which makes for pissed off sa, which makes for pissed off brass, and the shot rolls down hill. At least for the past 6 years they haven't been taught to do that. All sobriety exercises are standardized. Also, they're not tests.. we aren't testing you.. we are watching you fail miserably at a standard exercise.

so I'm guessing you're a cop?

Yet they can type an FML I dont believe I think it's a load of bull.

178 some of the things they make u do i cant do sober... ive tried. and i could find anyone that could do it. and ik that its from a sobrity test cause i watched it happen. and what the cop had them do was keep their right foot 6 inches in the air parallel to the ground with their left index finger on their nose while looking up into the cops light and answer a series of questions

it's easy ___________________ zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba

it doesnt even say it has to be backwards though, op must just be really dumb!

oh dang it! I just put my brain to use for no reason :(

Can I ask, is it Mr Sassy Pants or Mrs Assy Pants?

Omg good question!! makes me wonder too!!... weird...

5-- great illustration!

MrSassyPants but I get people confused cuz I didnt put a capital S :( Ill get a pic that says MR.

Or, put your title as Mr.

I believe its Mr.SassyAss Pants

must have been tired or something

No it's just that OP was so drunk that OP thought she was sober.

hahaha sounds like something that would happen to me!

lol me too, I can't ever walk in a straight line

Awe that's sad! Maybe you should go back to school :)

obviously you didn't get an education

I don't remember having a kinky-texting class in school.

Oh shit I'm going to get hammered for this one.

Apparently, neither did you.

apparently you don't remember your reading before commenting class in school

yes because you know me so well?

Just as you know OP so well to say he didn't get an education.

its funny how you idiots care so much about my opinion

why do you care? get a life