Health: Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 14:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 547

You deserved it 6 197

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 376

You deserved it 4 436

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 728

You deserved it 6 409

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 116

By gassy - 12/02/2013 14:18 - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 147

You deserved it 35 658

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Spicy

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 853

You deserved it 2 414

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 381

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 406

You deserved it 11 353

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Spicy

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 698

You deserved it 6 237

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Spicy

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 925

You deserved it 50 358

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:10 - United States - Rochester

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 588

You deserved it 23 075

Next

Top comments

emerluvsu 6

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

That's the most original fml I've ever heard.

123zc1 3

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

Omg I almost died laughing

Comments

miss_priss24 4

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:44

You must have gotten kicked pretty dang hard.

Hannahrayne 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:45

Today, I asked a guy for his number. He said sure and took my phone to put it in. It wasn't until I got home when I realized my phone was gone and my friends new he stole it the whole time. Oh, and I didn't get his number.

ZoeElizabeth 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 23:30

Why do we care?

cupcakemonster12 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 3:37

Second bitch move I've seen today! That sucks.. If your friends didn't tell you they are jerks and he's not worth it

Btreasure 8

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:49

It could've been worse. It could've been some guy who was just using you

Holli611 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 2:51

most girls lose theirs to their bicycle ... at least you have a different story to tell ...

Bizenghastly 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:00

^-^ teehee! #72 said '"periods" ^-^ I'm sorry...I jus thought it was funny cuz they wer trying to be serious *hangs head in shame***

Lorus_fml 12

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:01

Fastest. Quickie. Ever.

Victoire_W 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:04

At least your ready!

sparklerainbow 5

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:10

I'm confused...how do you pop your cherry? and what is that? I'm a girl so I have no idea :) but losing your virginity like that is funny yet unfortunate...sorry

saidawhiting 14

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:54

The fact that you're a girl is the reason that you SHOULD know what "popping a cherry" means. The OP is also female.

kiraleann 16

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:54

It's just another way of saying you lost your virginity...so she's just saying that the shoe hit her at the right angle and with enough force to break her hymen.

COCKYmanUSC 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:45

Try explaining that one to your parents...

cetlawizard 15

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:22

PSN black blackout survivors UNITE! lol... I survived it too ....it sucked bigtime!

COCKYmanUSC 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 3:49

Try explaining that one to your parents...

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21

Keywords

Cute Animals Cats Intimacy Sex Awkward Family Work Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health Relationship advice Weird Love AITA Miscellaneous Cops Neighbours Stressed out Parents Scary Cake Birthday Dogs Transportation Cars Embarrassing Fire

The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 4 248

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 398

You deserved it 363

The Top

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 117

You deserved it 22 854

Today, while clearing out my kitchen, I discovered a Tupperware container that'd been forgotten for so long it'd developed its own ecosystem. When I opened it, a funky smell engulfed the kitchen, and I realized I had unintentionally created a new form of life. I promptly closed the container, then put it in the freezer in the hope of killing whatever it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 561

Today, I needed to get blood drawn. Apparently, my veins are too thin and no blood would flow into the tube. I'm afraid of needles, and was just poked with some unsuccessfully, and I have to go back next week to try again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 170

Today, after I was shot in the hip years ago and the doctors left the bullet inside, they damn well better remove the bullet now because over the last 10 years, it's moved enough to start compressing a nerve, so now my penis is numb to all sensation, and I can’t get a boner anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 138

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 401

You deserved it 12 878

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 028

You deserved it 4 423