Health: Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated.... - FML

By jamisbetter - 11/04/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 826

You deserved it 18 929

Good kid

Luck of the draw

Bad day

Proud boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 08:02

Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 171

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 329

You deserved it 2 922

By Hypocrite - 16/04/2017 12:00

Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 7 424

By Anonymous - 23/11/2013 21:57 - Argentina

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 673

You deserved it 4 822

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 896

You deserved it 4 230

By Jared - 01/01/2009 08:49 - France

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 9 232

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 487

You deserved it 8 262

By Are you kidding me? - 09/09/2013 20:51 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 961

You deserved it 4 559

By Anonymous - 14/05/2011 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 649

You deserved it 5 094

By bit - 30/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 467

You deserved it 64 293

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 370

You deserved it 32 189

By SymmetricalPizzaFace - 07/09/2014 04:52 - United States - Westminster

Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 653

You deserved it 2 943

By concusion - 23/08/2010 09:03 - United States

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 3 256

By Anonymous - 25/05/2011 20:33 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 089

You deserved it 3 958

By mdsfkljsfsdrewr - 03/06/2014 19:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 639

You deserved it 4 597

By Literal Baby-Daddy - 02/07/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 106

You deserved it 661

By HylianFox - 27/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 072

You deserved it 3 043

By GogglesGoggles - 23/12/2013 08:24 - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 753

You deserved it 3 606

By Noname - 29/01/2009 13:06 - United States

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 933

You deserved it 2 163

By Anonymous - 12/07/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 931

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 00:37 - Canada

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 119

You deserved it 4 108

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 2 495

We could be heroes…

By Fired - 08/04/2011 11:58

Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 985

You deserved it 5 652

By FuglyBetty - 13/11/2014 16:44 - Norway - Arendal

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 3 174

By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 091

You deserved it 9 403

Repair this

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 06:01

Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 45

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 875

You deserved it 5 180

By boringhusband - 08/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Salisbury

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 643

You deserved it 1 486

By mushroomless - 14/10/2015 05:40 - United States - Thayne

Today, I got yelled at in a grocery store by a customer who recognized me from the pizza place where I work. Apparently, I forgot mushrooms on her pizza earlier this afternoon. I had the day off, but thanks for the verbal lashing, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 623

You deserved it 1 866

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 621

You deserved it 5 291

Compensating

By Jpev - 12/05/2016 01:09 - United States - Huntsville

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking back to my car after a long day of work. A large SUV had parked next to mine, so I jokingly said to my girlfriend, "What do you think they're compensating for?" That's when the couple behind us unlocked their vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 057

You deserved it 4 304

Hard no

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 22:01

Today, not to be "that guy" but my wife quit her job from fear of COVID, we have no kids, so am I really unreasonable to expect that she might do SOME of the housework instead of none of it, and then asking me if I would mind doing the dishes and laundry as soon as I get home? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 101

By junior - 11/04/2010 08:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 222

You deserved it 46 278

By girlgirlinsanity - 25/07/2010 11:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 411

You deserved it 5 753

By oneiPodlighter - 10/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Conshohocken

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 885

You deserved it 24 763

By Sarah_Mow - 28/10/2016 02:31

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public bathroom. As I was about to put the tampon into the sanitary bin, I dropped it and it rolled under the stall next to mine. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 349

You deserved it 1 105

By Ethan - 09/03/2009 13:35 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 081

You deserved it 94 951

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 06:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 290

You deserved it 274 790

By sad life - 26/01/2012 06:23 - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 501

You deserved it 4 797

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 501

You deserved it 5 653

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Top comments

fuckedPriceless 17

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:37

I would Nutella soul what you think of Nutella from now on if I were you.

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:59

That's like headbutting someone because they have a different opinion to you, oh wait it is.

Comments

CantImagineWhy 12

Saturday 11 April 2015 23:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:39

That'll teach him to nut-tell-a lie!

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:59

That's like headbutting someone because they have a different opinion to you, oh wait it is.

bethanyhopkins 49

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:12

It's just a matter of opinion. As it happens, I agree with OP. There are a lot more important things to debate about... like, I don't know, rape, maybe.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:15

What is there to debate about with rape? It's wrong, don't do it. End of story.

bethanyhopkins 49

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:17

#60 - what I meant is, we should be having discussions about much more important things that actually matter and obviously have a right or wrong opinion - as in, we should be educated about it more. Liking Nutella isn't one of those things, but people who don't like it are judged as if it is.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:19

No one deserves to get headbutted over Nutella. Nutella is only beautiful in the trash.

sweetnsourrr 11

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:33

I feel like this comment was meant to be a joke and everyone thought she being serious.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:39

*Gasp* only some one without soul would say that.... Are you ginger?

YourOpinionSucks 22

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:52

A lesson on rape Men: don't do it, porn is a thing for a reason. Women: don't do it, porn is a thing for a reason. End of lesson.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 4:27

#61 It could have been a general conversation. My friends and I talk about the weirdest shit sometimes. So telling someone they should be talking about rape instead of nutella or any other topic is just stupid. Yes rape is an issue but telling someone what they can or can't talk about takes away their freedom of speech.

arianarochele 9

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Sunday 12 April 2015 16:45

Why even bring up rape?!

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Sunday 12 April 2015 17:53

I don't think anyone is on FML to discuss the important issues -.- a disagreement about Nutella seems to fit right into FML's league

CantImagineWhy 12

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Monday 13 April 2015 4:23

Thank you, someone realized that I wasn't serious! I don't actually think anyone deserves to get a headbutt.

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Monday 4 May 2015 3:18

Op is right guys

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:36

That guy must've been a nut!

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

khaoticpanda 28

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Sunday 12 April 2015 2:01

I agree with this as a nutella lover, but im not understanding the logic of FML for downvoting number 1s comment, but upvoting yours when both are pretty similar.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 4:36

His was a pun, #1s was a statement.

LittleBastard 20

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Sunday 12 April 2015 5:18

I'm pretty sure they're both puns..

skyrim_fanatic 17

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:36

just hit the bastards in the fuckin face. nutella isnt even that good.

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:38

Kill the non-believer!

photographer49 22

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:38

#4 Nutella is chocolate creaminess from the heavens

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Sunday 12 April 2015 0:45

Exactly, I don't even like chocolate that much. The only chocolate that I care to eat on a regular basis is my wife! DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

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Sunday 12 April 2015 5:01

You shut your whore mouth!

happypenguins 24

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Sunday 12 April 2015 7:00

Eew! Nutella is amazing I am addicted to Nutella I keep a jar of it next to my bed! I when I have a bad dream ( which is often due to my anxiety) I have a spoon of it brush my teeth and go back to bes

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:36

Nutella is glorious. Shame on you for not understanding

fuckedPriceless 17

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:37

I would Nutella soul what you think of Nutella from now on if I were you.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 2:45

Nutella fans seem to be pretty nutty about Nutella

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:37

To each their own. Though I can't understand how anyone could *not* love Nutella.

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:22

Because it's gross.

AlwaysWatching 27

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Sunday 12 April 2015 2:47

You are gross

Cassandra2015 21

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:37

The Nutella jar in my household usually gets scrapped down to the very last bit, it's that amazing .

muzy 23

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Sunday 12 April 2015 1:32

Yeah and after that, you fill the bitch up with vanilla ice cream and go to town, right? No? am I the only one who does that? (I'm not weird. My mother had me tested).

clrichmond2009 24

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Sunday 12 April 2015 3:45

That is a wonderful idea and I'm doing it from now on. Thank you.

meisan 12

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:38

fyl for honesty

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Saturday 11 April 2015 23:39

Its average at best.

joanleesimone 2

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Sunday 12 April 2015 0:24

Comment above me, seconded.

tonyfailla123 19

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Sunday 12 April 2015 4:19

Like your penis?

SystemofaBlink41 27

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Sunday 12 April 2015 5:10

Hey, at least it's average.

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Sunday 3 May 2015 3:11

Yeah, but saying that you love Nutella is "in" right now.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 7

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 81

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 44