Drive-by casualty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 008
You deserved it 2 707

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I assume they yelled: "Eat my nuts!!!!"

So u are complaining that u got hit withs nuts instead of being shot with bullets??

Comments

I assume they yelled: "Eat my nuts!!!!"

blackheart24 10

Statistics show that more and more people are falling victim to the newest heinous crime: Drive by Peanuting. Let us pray for the victims.

So, would op rather be shot at than thrown nuts at?

There's a big difference between "I'll bust a cap in yo' ass!" and "I'll bust a nut in yo' ass!" That...could be misinterpreted. :)

n_epic_fail 14

Because you would have loved to be worth a bullet, right?

Wait so **** your life because you would have rather been shot?

I_Hug_Cats 26

At least OP is worth something, even if it is a bag of peanuts...

Once my housemate and I threw cadbury cream eggs at some protesters.

22cute 17

37 76 96 - **** your life because you cannot appreciate how funny this FML is.

alliewillie 22

I think so many of these FMLs would be funnier without the addition of the last sentence where the OP attempts a witty or ironic observation. Funnier to just tell the story and let commenters draw their own conclusion!

TheFamilyElf 17

122- those things are delicious! If I were those protesters, I would have stuck around and hoped you threw more at me!

Oh wow that would of been the funniest thing!!!

tiptoppc 19

I was at a village In. Years ago and a group came in. My friends and i were laughing at jokes we were telling (it was like 1am on a Saturday, which they were open 24hrs on weekends) and another group of people that were dressed up from a rather flamboyant party (not gay I don’t think) when one of them came up to us and said “you all can eat a bag of dicks!” Then dropped a small bag on the table with different colored hard candy that was shaped like a dick and balls. They timing and delivery was brilliant and made a great time better. I just hope OP isn’t allergic to peanuts, or if not, and they didn’t hit that hard, could at least laugh, unless they have a stick up their ass’

Birdie_Sage 0

In that case, wasting food is not good. So pick it up and eat 'em!!

kbtoyz69 9
Dajucy1 7

It seems one of your eyes is bigger than the other, I'd get that checked out if I were you

Birdie_Sage 0

Your eyes are really pretty today!

I'd say the creepiness was intentional.

nofearjenshere 12

The level of creepiness of the comment goes well with their picture.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

The creepiness has been doubled!

I can't seem to figure out how this comment is any better than #5's.

PYLrulz 17

Yeah, I find that odd too. Hell, usually the first pun or two gets thumbed up, then most puns after that usually get trashed

This comment is only good because of 59's reply.

So u are complaining that u got hit withs nuts instead of being shot with bullets??

I think OP is complaining that s/he got hit with peanuts when instead he could've got hit by nothing.

56- Apparently not if OP is complaining about only being worth a bag of nuts. If there was nothing thrown, OP would complain about being worth nothing.

He'd rather go down gloriously fending off an army of 100 marines singlehandedly, as opposed to only being worth a driveby and a bag of peanuts

Maybe the OP has a nut allergy? These drive by assassin's are masters of their craft.

bitch_pleez 10

Letting autocorrect work its magic She's skeins Allen's Aldiss s disowns dmskansxkxkane d end Sheba skins Shane decor floods djdienejdienndjdnwnsjdienei ejejdue sheik when throw skid ejdn Deneb kfken jerkdjdienejdienndjdnwnsjdienei

KiddNYC1O 20

Op wants to be worth bullets through his chest lol.

Well, at least they're better than bullets.

Lol I'm thinking of the two peanuts walking in the park, and one of them was "asSALTed" lol I love that joke......... yup.

No kidding. That really would've been reckless manslaughter wouldn't of?

No kidding. That really would've been reckless manslaughter wouldn't of?

That's the moment when you're supposed to take out your chain-saw and run after them!!

TheElderTROLLZ 15

So you carry a chainsaw with you 24/7?

Aww c'mon I was being sarcastic, do I really deserve downvotes??