By Giraafe - 09/05/2016 17:53 - Canada - Richmond Hill
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Wow OP, Did you point that out to your mother? She should probably see the reason behind Mother's Day.
Stating simple fact and the truth is talking back? If OP did mention those things, they were just trying to defend themselves and asking why they'd even need to call their aunt for a holiday that clearly doesn't relate to her. If you ground your kid for simply stating the truth, then that is incredibly unfair.
Yah it's called the privilege of being a parent. I'm just a teenager. But when my parents say something that's what goes. Don't think I don't agree. Because I do. On a lot of stuff. Everyone in here is a bunch of entitled fucks who if they don't get what they want have a temper tantrum. But keep up the good work. It's why we have safe zones on college campuses.
#28 You're obviously a teen, you can't think or stand up for yourself, and you clearly don't know what respect actually means. Respect is treating others the way you want to be treated, showing kindness and consideration, and accepting others for who they are. Respect is not fear, and it is not treating someone as an unwavering authority. It is treating them as human, and with that comes the ability to know that every human makes mistakes and can be wrong, and you're allowed to correct them. You say this type of thinking and the people here are entitled, but actually, we're the opposite. The views you are giving are entitlement, it's literally the definition - "the belief that one is better than others and is therefore inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment." When a parent demands unquestioning obedience and allegiance from their kids, based solely on the fact that they're older and created the kids, that's entitlement. A parent should absolutely have authority over their kids, but expecting complete control and submission is acting entitled because you're demanding to be treated different and better than others. Being a parent doesn't make someone special, it doesn't make them infinity superior to their kids, their kids are still humans, just like them, so it doesn't give parents special status. A person doesn't deserve special treatment with unwavering obedience just for being a parent, a parent is a human, not a god, they can be wrong too, and calling them out on their illogical behavior keeps them grounded.
#40, that's so true! When I lived at home, my mother used (to scream) the excuse "Because I'm your mother and I said so" when I asked her why I couldn't go somewhere or why I couldn't I do something; instead of saying (in an indoor voice) "I don't think it's safe" or "I can't pick you up later" or whatever reason and I never spoke back or disagreed. I moved out 2 years ago and she tried to say it to me again last summer on the phone, but I cracked and told her "I couldn't give a shit who you are, I'm sick of you constantly shouting at me and I'm sick of you treating me horribly" and hung up. After not speaking for a few weeks and some lies made up to family members on her end about how horribly I treat her (that were eventually rectified and proven untrue), our relationship is somewhat better - Of course, I can never trust her again and I'd rather live in a garbage can outside than move back home, but we can speak to each other a bit better now!
Oh my #44, that's terrible, I can understand why you wouldn't trust her again. I find the "because I said so," or "because I'm your parent," excuses to be pretty lazy because it isn't a legitimate answer. We don't expect anyone else to just take our word for it with these kinds of reasoning, it leaves people frustrated and confused, why would this be any different for our kids. I think some older generations have very distorted views of respect because that's how they grew up, authority wasn't questioned and they thought this was respect, and now we're starting to realize that this thinking is wrong, but some people are not liking the change. My parents were pretty good, but they still sometimes gave the "you don't respect me, I wouldn't dream of arguing with my parents like that" speech. I'd usually respond with "actually, I do respect you, I just don't fear you. What you're talking about is you feared your parents because you wouldn't even speak your mind to them. I respect you as my parents, but I don't think you're better than me and that you can't be unfair or wrong." They usually became more reasonable after that.
I understand what you're saying #55, and you're right. At least in that instance you're still taking the time to give a legitimate explanation first, before you resort to the "because I said so," stance. If a kid is overreacting and not listening to your logical reasoning, it's fine to put your foot down. It's only when parents just go straight to the "because I said so," excuse, and don't even attempt to explain, those are the instances that I don't agree with.
I do not know where you get complete control and submission. Respect is earned not given. If my parents were to yell at me simply for me to agree I would have problems. But they respect me because I respect them and their decision making. Again whether they are right or wrong they are right. If I have a problem I go back later and talk about it. And for the entitlement y'all are just as much as me if you want to go right out of the definition. Because I believe whether right or wrong parents have authority and you should respect that. However y'all believe that you shouldn't have to do as your told. You don't need to respect them. But at least the decision. And therefore if you believe you have a say that means you're entitled. So. That makes us both.
Don't tell me I'm clearly a teen because I can't think or stand of for myself. Your 21. Your only 3-4 years older than me depending the month. I'm sorry I respect my parents and do as I'm told. Not argue back because I deserve it my way. There are some people who can't think for themselves. They have People to aid them. I am in all ap courses with several credits under me. That to me is thinking for myself. Playing sports and doing activities is thinking for myself. You telling me I clearly can't stand up for myself makes you seem immature. While I may too, the "captain" goes down with the ship.
Well that stinks. It's Mother's Day, not Female Relative's Day. Unless this aunt took you in and raised you at some point, nobody should expect you to acknowledge her on Mother's Day. I have an unmarried childless aunt to whom I give birthday and Christmas gifts, and with whom (as an adult) I did live for a few months, but that doesn't make her my mother.