Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
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Top comments
cb1002630 11
Bet you became a screamer as well
BulldogHoops 14
You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.
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Comments (86)
Mundyshka 1
Once, when my boyfriend and I were having sex, my cat sneaked up from behind and started sniffing my boyfriend's ass and... and... oh heaven...
karmicsamadi86 9
My dog's still do this. Even from 2 floors below, in the middle of the night, 5 years after we've been married....
jedawi 13
Apart from the mauling, congrats! :D
ElliotC 6
Bet it was worth it :)
CanadianCutie22 16
awkward with the dog in the room!
Reckless_beauty 0
Divorce that mother ******, ASAP
samimcCune 15
orgasms seem to require much more sacrifice these days, sometimes good sometimes bad... hope you're okay. at least that's one hell of a finish? ha, hope you're not to traumatized to give her another one and i hope she's really grateful for that one!
legendxs 20
Next time lock the dog in the attick or the basement and let her scream her hell up.
OhGodWut 1
I know how you feel, my dog will bark and growl and wimper if he hears me moan, because he thinks my boyfriend is hurting me xD We tried locking him on the outside of the room but he only gets louder and informs the rest of the house of what's going on in my bedroom!
TcheQ 12
YDI for having sex in front of a dog