Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cb1002630 11
Bet you became a screamer as well
BulldogHoops 14
You brought this upon yourself when your girlfriend's texts were being read over her shoulder.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
DDCA 24
That bites... But you deserve it for not closing the door. Dumbass.
MikeyScene420 17
Sucks to be you. My girlfriend is a gasper so i can fool around with her with her parents in the room and they dont even notice. Also, her dog LOVES me lol
Pstraka6 20
take it as a compliment!
Ziggy122 15
Uh... Close the door?
Jezzababy 10
Haha oh man sucks to be you :P
Contactbhama 2
Most probably the dog is a female and she thinks you are a dog. Now she wants an ****** from you. I'm sure you can do it.
Rydoc111 3
Maybe he thought you were trying to play fetch since you were dangling balls in front of him....
simplysarcastics 26
Dude... Is it so hard to close a door or take the poor dog outside. Ydi, and this isn't an fml. No one wants to hear about how you make your lady scream all through the night LOL!
Cysioland 8
Maybe some bestial threesome?
kirb2154 3
And you told your friends the scratches were from her.