By idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 374
You deserved it 7 931

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You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.

"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.


You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.

Guess you ****** the wrong pussy ;).

Nope. I always double check to make sure I **** the right pussy. That way I avoid any awkward and/or painful situations.

All these pussy jokes. Ya'll need Jesus.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Jesus, the new wonder drug from ACME Medicine. It cures any illness and makes your life better. It even turnes water to wine. Side effects include, but are not limites to, arrogance, ignorance, intolerance, hatered, holier than thou attitude, and a tendency to tell others that they need Jesus. ACME Medicine not liable for any bloodshed done while under the influence of Jesus. Yes, I'm well aware that I am going to Hell.

I give you a round of applause for this post

Yes, quite a few protestants can be Jesus jerks at times, but there are also quite a few depressed, emo, atheists who shove their opinion in everyone's face and insult God and anyone who believes in him.

Pretty sure 47 was making a, very successful, joke. By the way, not all atheists are depressed emos while we're correcting stereotypes. ;)

Never_Land 10

Even being a man of faith I agree with you

with all of the pussy comments, how in the hell is beaver supposed to get any recognition?

someone with the screen name fangirlingalways said we need Jesus...You know obsession is a sin right???

No, you're going to the hall of fame!

incoherentrmblr 21

The pussy is mad b/c he's not getting any pussy...

Someone's pussy doesn't like that.....

But...worth it.

It's best to only try to please one pussy at a time

Ch_rae5 19

I bet her dad trained it.

Aaaand someone didn't read the username.

"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.

TorturedXeno 27

Looks like someone fell in the trap already.

It's a minefield out here, and it seems that everyone is playing "Don't touch the lava." Seriously. Every single one.

Hey it was worth a shot xD

#51, I hope you have your username written down in case you accidentally sign out.

Hes like "hell yeah. You ain't doing to this pussy what you do to that pussy."

Well looks like you might not be getting any friendly pussy any time soon.

gingaa96 18

Well I guess you're an idiot..

I don't think her pussy was satisfied with your actions!

Every damn time there's a fml involving a cat..

I apologise, I wish I could delete it but sadly FML doesn't offer that option.

Does that really override the fact that you got some?

I normally hate that joke because it's so overused, but I think this time its a legitimate argument. I even am a cat person, but a cat hissing at me could hardly ruin a sexual experience.

StompinOnCrayons 15

Don't expect both the ******* bro

Okay bro

perdix 29

If you want to dominate one pussy in a household, you have to dominate them all!

I don't think I like where this is going....

perdix 29

#24, do you mean you don't like the puns, or that you'd prefer to be pussy-whipped?

No im pretty sure he was talking about **********... Which is always a bad idea

#39. he wasn't talking about **********, unless it's a story involving a donkey then the chances are high. Texas is close to Mexico....

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

not necessarily **********. ..its just showing animals who's boss...he didn't say **** the cat, just stand up to him/her. you cant let an animal dominate you.. thats where poorly behaved animals come from.

Doesn't matter had sex. Her pussy didn't respond well! There's some generics for ya