Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
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By
Dthsapprntc
| 23
You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.
By
Pleonasm
| 34
"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.
COMMENTS
By
Dthsapprntc
| 23
You moved in on his territory, of course he is going to be pissed at you.
Reply
Sports_guy3
| 28
Guess you fucked the wrong pussy ;).
Reply
Dthsapprntc
| 23
Nope. I always double check to make sure I fuck the right pussy. That way I avoid any awkward and/or painful situations.
Reply
FangirlingAlways
| 14
All these pussy jokes. Ya'll need Jesus.
Reply
naren723
| 11
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Reply
Dthsapprntc
| 23
Jesus, the new wonder drug from ACME Medicine. It cures any illness and makes your life better. It even turnes water to wine.
Side effects include, but are not limites to, arrogance, ignorance, intolerance, hatered, holier than thou attitude, and a tendency to tell others that they need Jesus. ACME Medicine not liable for any bloodshed done while under the influence of Jesus.
Yes, I'm well aware that I am going to Hell.
Side effects include, but are not limites to, arrogance, ignorance, intolerance, hatered, holier than thou attitude, and a tendency to tell others that they need Jesus. ACME Medicine not liable for any bloodshed done while under the influence of Jesus.
Yes, I'm well aware that I am going to Hell.
Reply
HockeyGirlLover
| 7
I give you a round of applause for this post
Reply
dachayke
| 16
Yes, quite a few protestants can be Jesus jerks at times, but there are also quite a few depressed, emo, atheists who shove their opinion in everyone's face and insult God and anyone who believes in him.
Reply
smokecloud_
| 37
Pretty sure 47 was making a, very successful, joke. By the way, not all atheists are depressed emos while we're correcting stereotypes. ;)
Reply
Never_Land
| 10
Even being a man of faith I agree with you
Reply
tman1985
| 9
with all of the pussy comments, how in the hell is beaver supposed to get any recognition?
Reply
xerbrus
| 14
someone with the screen name fangirlingalways said we need Jesus...You know obsession is a sin right???
Reply
Jebitesevsi
| 11
No, you're going to the hall of fame!
Reply
incoherentrmblr
| 21
The pussy is mad b/c he's not getting any pussy...
By
Adhdkid107
| 9
Someone's pussy doesn't like that.....
Reply
kjack49044
| 18
But...worth it.
Reply
184886837272837
| 32
It's best to only try to please one pussy at a time
Reply
Ch_rae5
| 19
I bet her dad trained it.
Reply
TheOnlyMizLiv
| 22
Aaaand someone didn't read the username.
By
Pleonasm
| 34
"Idiot says pussy." Very strategic name, OP, let's see if it pays off in the comments.
Reply
TorturedXeno
| 27
Looks like someone fell in the trap already.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
It's a minefield out here, and it seems that everyone is playing "Don't touch the lava."
Seriously. Every single one.
Seriously. Every single one.
Reply
Adhdkid107
| 9
Hey it was worth a shot xD
Reply
codyswearingen
| 3
Shut ur mouth
Reply
184886837272837
| 32
fuck...
Reply
dachayke
| 16
#51, I hope you have your username written down in case you accidentally sign out.
By
ruckfules85
| 34
Hes like "hell yeah. You ain't doing to this pussy what you do to that pussy."
By
CaptMurdock
| 25
Well looks like you might not be getting any friendly pussy any time soon.
Reply
gingaa96
| 18
Well I guess you're an idiot..
By
parism143
| 28
I don't think her pussy was satisfied with your actions!
Reply
cyttex
| 13
Every damn time there's a fml involving a cat..
Reply
parism143
| 28
I apologise, I wish I could delete it but sadly FML doesn't offer that option.
By
israelnotjacob
| 20
Does that really override the fact that you got some?
Reply
jnanderson
| 16
DM;HS
Reply
israelnotjacob
| 20
I normally hate that joke because it's so overused, but I think this time its a legitimate argument. I even am a cat person, but a cat hissing at me could hardly ruin a sexual experience.
By
StompinOnCrayons
| 15
Don't expect both the pussies bro
Reply
PieReaper
| 11
Okay bro
By
perdix
| 29
If you want to dominate one pussy in a household, you have to dominate them all!
Reply
JaegerMayCry
| 13
I don't think I like where this is going....
Reply
perdix
| 29
#24, do you mean you don't like the puns, or that you'd prefer to be pussy-whipped?
Reply
Zelphoric
| 25
No im pretty sure he was talking about bestiality... Which is always a bad idea
Reply
sdroze1389
| 31
#39. he wasn't talking about bestiality, unless it's a story involving a donkey then the chances are high. Texas is close to Mexico....
Reply
1PersonIsMyWorld
| 22
not necessarily bestiality. ..its just showing animals who's boss...he didn't say fuck the cat, just stand up to him/her. you cant let an animal dominate you.. thats where poorly behaved animals come from.
By
uoeno_fml
| 20
Doesn't matter had sex.
Her pussy didn't respond well!
There's some generics for ya
Her pussy didn't respond well!
There's some generics for ya