Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
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Comments (289)
brianjman14 23
That is not funny. I am very sorry. Best wishes, OP.
perdix 31
Why are you complaining? If he prescribes it, you could leave the hospital with a free vag and a pair of *******. Most of us guys pay a fortune for those!
BellaBelle_fml 23
Usually I find your humour very funny, but this is not one of those times. Some things you just shouldn't joke about. I know we should try to find a bright side or the humour in negative situations, but again, this is not the time for that.
perdix 31
No, this IS the time for that! This is FML, not a support group. People who have health issues they don't want to be made fun of don't post them here.
lovin_my_marine 4
What an insensitive asshole. Maybe one day you will find yourself in a similar situation and will understand this poor man's unfortunate condition. But as far as I'm concerned you're already diseased, hope you get well soon from chronic asshole syndrome.
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
That sucks... *Googles extra rib thing*
jaredofmo 22
Ummm... Wow. That's pretty bad, man. Hope you can get with a good woman who doesn't care.
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is an example of the rare species douchebag doctor. Sorry op, get well soon buddy.
Pendragon525 0
It's not rare. I've been writing about bad doctors for years. HMOs seem to breed them.
ivy922 4
I wanna know how 31 people think the OP deserves this!!!! >:( Hope everything gets better OP. Good luck.
savannahmoulder 0
I hope you know that women have the same number of ribs as men. More importantly, your doctor should know that. Certainly they covered that in medical school. (Good luck on your cancer tangent treatment though.)
Enslaved 38
Both men and women have the same number of ribs. Why you have an extra one is odd but has nothing to do with gender. Bad joke in bad taste on your doctor's part. He was probably just trying to be funny, which could be if you weren't dealing with a serious issue as cancer. God speed!(:
BellaBelle_fml 23
I think I understand why he made a joke though. It's really hard to tell someone they have cancer, or any serious disease, and it's kind of awkward as well. I've had the horrible job of telling a few patients they have a serious illness before, but thankfully I had the good sense to not make a joke of it. Having said that, I still think it was a poor choice for the doc to try to break the mood with a joke.
unatuna 5
In Genesis Eve was made out of one of Adam's ribs. The "doctor" was trying to imply that women either have extra ribs because of this or that if he had the rib removed he would become female. This onc is a throwback.
wieli2888 0
You are not meant to be a male in the first place. Your testicles cancer explains.
Tyger44 1
Bad luck bro.try to get laid as much as u can.