Health: Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 198

You deserved it 2 695

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Same thing different taste

Deez Nuts

By ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 362

You deserved it 5 000

Unusual diagnosis method

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 16:00

Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 116

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 347

You deserved it 2 755

By Lara - 08/01/2016 11:28 - Germany - Bremen

Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 8 347

By BadKneeBackAndSinuses - 23/09/2018 15:30

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 148

Thanks for the miracle

By howinthenameofholyfuck?! - 16/07/2020 17:01

Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 218

You deserved it 621

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 898

You deserved it 1 397

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 843

You deserved it 351

IntoTheClouds 42

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.

josebeto1 6

Wednesday 21 September 2011 5:38

****** up bro, hope you don't lose it

Comments

cheeeeeeers 3

Wednesday 21 September 2011 6:49

I'm a nurse and believe me, many, not all but many, are snobby assholes. good luck ;)))

Pendragon525 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 15:48

If it weren't for the great nurses I've encountered in the 16 years I've had MS, I probably would've gone crazy long ago. I admire what you do. Thank you.

pooyoyo 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 6:58

Clean Circumcision time!

GrammaticalNazi 2

Wednesday 21 September 2011 7:03

85 - Nobody cares exactly what you meant. We go on FML to be entertained, even by rude means. That being said, your comment was rude, unnecessary, and quite simply not funny. Those are the reasons you got thumbed down.

pooyoyo 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 7:08

o.o?

Aysian 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 6:59

So you just have an empty sack now? Haha

R4P3DwithALOHA 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 8:50

Ur a ******* dick

cjgqsmooth 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 7:06

dude that sucks... wish you well in your cancer battle. keep your chin up OP!

Darklord53 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 7:16

Hope they get rid of the cancer with completely neutering you. Didn't you at least smile at the joke though? Also, you could do so much with an extra rib so have fun. ;)

BellaBelle_fml 23

Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:22

That failed on so many levels.

blueflare21 3

Wednesday 21 September 2011 7:21

Oh man bro I'm so sorry to hear that. If you still have hope look into nutrition supplements. I personally know people that have cancer and are using nutritions supplements to deal with their problems. Hope that helps.