Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (289)
cheeeeeeers 3
I'm a nurse and believe me, many, not all but many, are snobby assholes. good luck ;)))
Pendragon525 0
If it weren't for the great nurses I've encountered in the 16 years I've had MS, I probably would've gone crazy long ago. I admire what you do. Thank you.
pooyoyo 0
Clean Circumcision time!
GrammaticalNazi 2
85 - Nobody cares exactly what you meant. We go on FML to be entertained, even by rude means. That being said, your comment was rude, unnecessary, and quite simply not funny. Those are the reasons you got thumbed down.
pooyoyo 0
o.o?
Aysian 0
So you just have an empty sack now? Haha
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
Ur a ******* dick
cjgqsmooth 0
dude that sucks... wish you well in your cancer battle. keep your chin up OP!
Darklord53 0
Hope they get rid of the cancer with completely neutering you. Didn't you at least smile at the joke though? Also, you could do so much with an extra rib so have fun. ;)
BellaBelle_fml 23
That failed on so many levels.
blueflare21 3
Oh man bro I'm so sorry to hear that. If you still have hope look into nutrition supplements. I personally know people that have cancer and are using nutritions supplements to deal with their problems. Hope that helps.
j_cat187 20
You are so lucky to be alive I've been to way to many funerals involving people loosing the battle. Saddest way to go
emilo_fml 0
Keep your head up high. I am 16 and I had cancer at the age of 14. I am about 3 years clean if I can take chemo down so can you.
Pendragon525 0
Wow. I'm so sorry you went through that, but thrilled that you're 3 years cancer free!
wriptidez 0
www.ourprayer.org
CVeNgineer 0
Your last ********? Lol don't you mean the other one
SpruceDread4578 13
No you ****. That is his last ********.