Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
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Comments (289)
EdwardJayms 0
Damn dude, sorry to hear about the cancer but that joke was probably just an attempt to lift the mood a bit...
clewie 8
That's a horrible thing to say, but I'd rather be the opposite sex than be dead... Just sayin.
brittneymae 0
Those who said you deserve this are truly horrible beings. I am so sorry this is happening to you.
ELJerrado 6
Look on the bright side. At least you can't get testicular cancer again
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
Srry dude I'm gunn pray 4 u. OP
ipusstroll 0
I feel sorry for u
callae 7
Balls are repulsive anyway.
SpruceDread4578 13
I hope this doesn't sound too terrible, but I guess now if you have a one night stand you have nothing to worry about? Just a small joke. Really hope you pull through though, I mean, it's terrible you have cancer and I can understand the pain you are going through. Try to see what they can do so you can keep your remaining ********. Oh, **** your doctor.
hawkhez01 13
How the hell can that many people think he 'deserves' it! Cancer is in no way his fault, let alone the second time!
allforus 5
Some people are insensitive pieces of shit. And when something bad like this happens to them, they'll wonder why they don't have more people supporting them.
Clay_K 17
Your testicles don't make you a man your actions do. Hope you get better op :)