Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
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Comments (289)
tatersr9 1
Man just believe !
kouklistax3 2
Anyone who voted you deserved it or commented something rude needs to be punched in the face. There is NOTHING funny about cancer and that doctor is a douche bag.
mjninety 9
Men and women have the same number of ribs. Shame on them for making a religious joke. Sorry OP.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Best of luck to you.
underguarded 20
Punch him in the face.
theonlysweetpea 10
Not funny at all.
fatalhit2 0
How would he "deserve" this? He has cancer. Dude, that sucks. Good luck.
invivoful 10
I accidentally pushed that he deserved it... I'm sorry OP =///
c0c0_fml 16
Hope you will get Better soon. Keep your head up you will still be 100% man and probably even better after you go through this. You're a champ u did it once u can do it again!!!!
koolk 1
awww..feel sorry for you
Joey44 15
Wow, this is just awful. Best wishes OP.