Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
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Top comments
spinningrecords 14
I wouldn’t let your brother know that he saved your life by punching you in the balls. Things like that become habits.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Oh wow! I'm so sorry to hear that you have cancer, but it's great that there's a way to treat it. Definitely a different way to alert you to something amiss, but whatever works I guess!
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
I've always thought random ball-punching was a good idea. Full disclosure: I have major investments in several codpiece manufacturing and distributing concerns. This message brought to you by Big Codpiece.
spinningrecords 14
I wouldn’t let your brother know that he saved your life by punching you in the balls. Things like that become habits.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Oh wow! I'm so sorry to hear that you have cancer, but it's great that there's a way to treat it. Definitely a different way to alert you to something amiss, but whatever works I guess!