Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
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Comments (289)
danishbagel 3
Cool thing about being a woman is you get to jiggle your boobs, think of it that way.
Jaxx66 21
Moobs aren't as fun. What the doctors said is amusing. But cancer sucks. I have cancer in both my breasts. To bad I won't be gaining testicles when I lose them.
THE_A_TEEN 28
What are Moobs?
False_Stupidity 42
59- moobs are male boobs
ChibiGirl5 0
Man boobs duh :P
slipknotz 0
I don't think it's such a great time to joke about it, the man found out he's got cancer. AGAIN.
tatersr9 1
Your a piece of shit
BellaBelle_fml 23
danishbagel, I was just going to blame your extremely ignorant and insulting comment on you being 14, but that wouldn't be an excuse. You should know better than to 'joke' around about a devastating and potentially fatal disease, not to mention the fact that OP has already lost one ******** and may lose his last one as well. Add that to the doctor's unprofessional 'joke' and it equals an extremely hard time for the OP. You really should think before you speak. I hope you learned from this, but unfortunately, I don't think you will.
danishbagel 3
Right, not the time to joke around. My apologies, OP and everyone else.
tacovender 7
Maybe then you can consider mastrubating 3/4 of a hand job
danielreader22 4
Do you even know what the **** you're talking about? Because I sure don't.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
go kill yourself
BellaBelle_fml 23
Or maybe you can consider being a little more respectful to the OP as he is truly going through an extremely difficult time after finding out he has testicular cancer, AGAIN, and he might have to have his LAST ******** removed! Wtf is wrong with some of these heartless assholes on here?!
tacovender 7
It's the Internet. Don't take anything personally. I saw room for a joke and took it. So what it's soulless but hey at least op is still alive (cancer is horrible to have)
mishkaroni 15
Ah, a failed attempt at being clever and witty.
aliadnan708 6
Damn man good luck battling that stupid cancer
SweatyDucks 7
Hah.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You suck Your comment makes me want to rip your testicals off.
rainydayz133 6
Ur kidding right? How is THT funny? How about someone cuts your testicles off?
XXXsceneXXXkidzX 5
Your a piece of shit.
NoYDI 4
I don't get the doctors joke
Shrike 24
^ derp alert! ^
btnhdude 0
Derp indeed
footballfame 0
Woman have an extra rib... Duh
mjninety 9
No
m0hami01 2
Women and men have the same number of ribs. You should probably find a new doctor...
puppydog 12
I'm pretty sure 69 was joking, but way to point out the obvious.
ms_YoungMula 8
Women have an extra rib obviously, that's like 4th grade bio
jefffluffingham 5
women have an extra rib and no balls or dick. thats four differences. OP has the rib and missing one ball, and might lose another. shame about the cancer, and about losing a ball, or maybe two. doctors should make some jokes to get rid of stress, but that is way too far.
2ndSucks 15
Sometimes the sense of humor thing is way overdone. Sorry to hear that, OP. Good luck.
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
Harsh =/ I'm so sorry
dcg1375 7
Funny in a sense. But have them insert some steel balls. Then at least when you say it it can be true. Cancer sucks but be thankful you are alive. Gotta find laughter where you can.
j_cat187 20
Yea a whole new meaning for balls of steel
FailBear920 19
That sucks balls op :)
BellaBelle_fml 23
Was that your failed attempt at sympathy after that 'first' bitch of a comment of yours?! Please, just stop commenting...at all...EVER!
onthetoilet 3
Man up :) it's just a joke
sheethapins 13
Remember this if you ever have to struggle with cancer, dumbass. Op, good luck with your battle and I hope all goes well. Ignore idiots like that doctor and this guy, no matter if you lose it or not keep your head up and don't get discouraged. You're a strong man for having to go through this. Never lose sight of your strength, courage, and ability to move forward and overcome.
kroekdog 7
Man up? The dude is losing his balls. You are a moron.
mommy2cassidy 18
#211. He will still be a man. He will also be a survivor. Kick cancers ass again OP!!