Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
HippoCampus
| 7
Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!
By
miserypoison
| 13
0-1 Toilet wins.
COMMENTS
By
miserypoison
| 13
0-1 Toilet wins.
Reply
OasC82
| 0
Atta boy.....or girl
Reply
oboewhore_xD
| 6
Girls don't poop.
Reply
ant1078
| 7
that's what u get for making toilet babies :p
Reply
salsha
| 0
He's shit outta luck
Reply
BossDavyy
| 0
why doesn't op just use a plunger?
Reply
lionandthelamb61
| 9
Yeah, OP, you gotta mash them taters.
Reply
OasC82
| 0
you dont poop
Reply
boyslikegirls97
| 0
you lost 2 pounds in poop?! woah man. that's intense
Reply
22cute
| 17
Why do so many people insist on posting their bowel habits on FML? Is this really a topic of mass appeal? Do you realize what that says about us as a group? Read a book people, get a hobby,please. Life awaits.
By
Veraymix
| 6
Congrats on the two pounds. Have fun calling a plumber, or fixing that yourself.
By
HippoCampus
| 7
Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!
Reply
flockz
| 19
or tell the toilet to stop taking shit from everyone.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
12 then what would be the point of the toilet?
Reply
flockz
| 19
to give me a seat so i can check my FMLs in peace. Mrsassypants, sometimes your sassiness is just overwhelming. lol
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
41 thank you. Also if you just sit there to read FMLs in peace then I can't help wondering where do you take a shit?
Reply
ZAE06
| 0
man I hope u two fight because I haven't seen a good fight in FML in a long time
Reply
HannahForbesxo
| 13
Just got déjà vu from #45's comment. Oh wait..
Reply
flockz
| 19
in your tophat.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
45 nope I don't really fight.
53 GEEZUS! Not my hat! *looks in hat* Oh my goodness! Stop lying! I just found delicious melted chocolate!
53 GEEZUS! Not my hat! *looks in hat* Oh my goodness! Stop lying! I just found delicious melted chocolate!
Reply
flockz
| 19
i poop chocolate.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
59 that's kinda what I was saying. 8) Also can you be in a video with me? I got a great idea. It involves your shit and a cup. You down?
Actually I'ma stop trolling before it gets out of hand and I make someone throw up.
Actually I'ma stop trolling before it gets out of hand and I make someone throw up.
Reply
A7X_LoVeee
| 10
65- Too late.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
67 I've been meaning to ask you did you find that pic or did you make it? I f you made it then you are very awesome my good sir. I tip my hat to you! The good thing is that it full of chocolate too! 8)
Reply
A7X_LoVeee
| 10
Haha I found it on google. I cannot draw AT ALL. ;)
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
Oh ha. Buy it doesn't look like an amazing drawing even though it is epic you may be able to draw it 8)
Reply
daAce77
| 8
I like how this conversation is really random.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
91 bubbles and cheese.
Reply
ZombieeeeUnicorn
| 1
unicorns and potatoes.
Reply
ZAE06
| 0
hookers and closets haha
Reply
ZombieeeeUnicorn
| 1
109 battlefield sucks :)
Reply
flockz
| 19
ostriches and hurricanes.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
C-c-combo breaker!!!
I broke what I started tee hee 8)
I broke what I started tee hee 8)
Reply
ZAE06
| 0
battlefield is a lot better than MW if u like that game
Reply
ro3b
| 0
haha that's funny;D
Reply
chickunkey
| 0
MW prints money bitches!
Reply
Jesus_Christ69
| 0
C-c-c-Combo breaker?
Reply
ddeboer4
| 9
ceiling fans and onions
Reply
wolfeyes00
| 10
this is fantastic haha
By
iAmScrubs
| 19
My motto for life is "make it flush". You must do whatever you can to force those bad boys to go down whether it involves using a fire hose or calling in the Riot Squad.
Reply
ciarafox9
| 9
I love you??
Reply
BShady96
| 0
ill give this one a 5/10 since im not sure i get it...
Reply
kingnate16
| 0
cut it into smaller pieces and flush one piece at a time
By
lendalynn
| 5
ew.
Reply
thrashdu2002
| 5
you know you have clogged the toilet with ur stinky dumps. girls always act like they have never pooped.
Reply
lendalynn
| 5
ok ok chill.. I never said that hasn't happened to me.. no matter what it's still gross
Reply
iAmScrubs
| 19
Yes, excretion is the grossest thing on the planet. I mean, who does it? It's just disgusting. In my opinion, if anyone goes to the bathroom, they should receive the death penalty. That is how disgusting it is. /sarcasm.
Reply
lendalynn
| 5
alrighty guys... I was saying ew to the fact that the op has to deal with a clogged toilet... I'm not saying ew that he took a dump, everyone does that
Reply
A7X_LoVeee
| 10
What? I've never pooped in my life!
Reply
mattmadden
| 0
What is a "poop"? Someone please tell me because I'm extremely interested now... :/
Reply
iluvhobos
| 5
Yes, because a normal body function is SOO disgusting!
Reply
Thoagland94
| 0
I'm not sure your point is valid. You love hobos...just a little creepy
Reply
wordnerd42
| 0
Well I didn't fart until I was 30.
-flashback-
-pppt-
WHAT was that? D:
-flashback-
-pppt-
WHAT was that? D:
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
87 I like how you say you're a grammar Nazi but in your name you put "luv" and "SOO" doesn't have three o's. I am not a grammar Nazi but I don't like grammar Nazis and I especially don't like people who say they're one but aren't. I know it's spelling but grammar and spelling mix.
Reply
iluvhobos
| 5
146- I've had this name as a screen name for years, and the extra O's were to emphasize and draw out the word.
By
amerwin
| 3
Next time, give it a courtesy when the first log splashes. But, I don't think you can be mad about this. Two pounds? That's amazing.
By
tigerlilypop
| 7
Holy shit! (Pun intended) that's fuckin huge.
Reply
A7X_LoVeee
| 10
Why would you include 'pun intended' ? I think we all got it.
Derp.
Derp.
Reply
iAmScrubs
| 19
Yes, a pun's credibility gets removed when someone says pun intended. The point of a pun is to make subtle wordplay yet not have to explain it. That "pun intended" has removed the credibility from, in my opinion, an amateur pun. Then there are always those jackasses who make a pun and say "no pun intended" because they feel the need to ruin everyone's fun. Or should I say everyone's pun. Okay, I'll stop now.
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
63 you don't need to stop. You're a funny guy. Actually I hope you never stop.
Reply
xXJMcDowellXx
| 0
63 You are pretty punny.
By
Deeznutzhairy
| 7
how you get constipated?
Reply
abluekiwi
| 0
Google knows the answer.
Reply
HannahForbesxo
| 13
Constipation is just people who are full of shit.
Reply
A7X_LoVeee
| 10
Eat lots of bananners.
Reply
skyttlz
| 32
i was born with it
Reply
Mish44
| 3
They ate a lot of shitty food.
Reply
BobsUrAunty
| 2
# 85 lmfao xD
By
Emster689
| 0
I would of thought a broken toliet is the least of your problems since your health in involved :S
By
flockz
| 19
toilets are lucky. they get alot of ass but then they have to deal with everyone's shit.