By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 444
You deserved it 5 610

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Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!


Atta boy.....or girl

that's what u get for making toilet babies :p

He's shit outta luck

why doesn't op just use a plunger?

Yeah, OP, you gotta mash them taters.

you dont poop

you lost 2 pounds in poop?! woah man. that's intense

Why do so many people insist on posting their bowel habits on FML? Is this really a topic of mass appeal? Do you realize what that says about us as a group? Read a book people, get a hobby,please. Life awaits.

Veraymix 6

Congrats on the two pounds. Have fun calling a plumber, or fixing that yourself.

Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!

or tell the toilet to stop taking shit from everyone.

12 then what would be the point of the toilet?

to give me a seat so i can check my FMLs in peace. Mrsassypants, sometimes your sassiness is just overwhelming. lol

41 thank you. Also if you just sit there to read FMLs in peace then I can't help wondering where do you take a shit?

man I hope u two fight because I haven't seen a good fight in FML in a long time

Just got déjà vu from #45's comment. Oh wait..

in your tophat.

45 nope I don't really fight. 53 GEEZUS! Not my hat! *looks in hat* Oh my goodness! Stop lying! I just found delicious melted chocolate!

i poop chocolate.

59 that's kinda what I was saying. 8) Also can you be in a video with me? I got a great idea. It involves your shit and a cup. You down? Actually I'ma stop trolling before it gets out of hand and I make someone throw up.

67 I've been meaning to ask you did you find that pic or did you make it? I f you made it then you are very awesome my good sir. I tip my hat to you! The good thing is that it full of chocolate too! 8)

Haha I found it on google. I cannot draw AT ALL. ;)

Oh ha. Buy it doesn't look like an amazing drawing even though it is epic you may be able to draw it 8)

I like how this conversation is really random.

91 bubbles and cheese.

unicorns and potatoes.

hookers and closets haha

109 battlefield sucks :)

ostriches and hurricanes.

C-c-combo breaker!!! I broke what I started tee hee 8)

battlefield is a lot better than MW if u like that game

haha that's funny;D

MW prints money bitches!

C-c-c-Combo breaker?

ceiling fans and onions

this is fantastic haha

My motto for life is "make it flush". You must do whatever you can to force those bad boys to go down whether it involves using a fire hose or calling in the Riot Squad.

ill give this one a 5/10 since im not sure i get it...

cut it into smaller pieces and flush one piece at a time

you know you have clogged the toilet with ur stinky dumps. girls always act like they have never pooped.

ok ok chill.. I never said that hasn't happened to me.. no matter what it's still gross

Yes, excretion is the grossest thing on the planet. I mean, who does it? It's just disgusting. In my opinion, if anyone goes to the bathroom, they should receive the death penalty. That is how disgusting it is. /sarcasm.

alrighty guys... I was saying ew to the fact that the op has to deal with a clogged toilet... I'm not saying ew that he took a dump, everyone does that

What? I've never pooped in my life!

What is a "poop"? Someone please tell me because I'm extremely interested now... :/

Yes, because a normal body function is SOO disgusting!

I'm not sure your point is valid. You love hobos...just a little creepy

Well I didn't fart until I was 30. -flashback- -pppt- WHAT was that? D:

87 I like how you say you're a grammar Nazi but in your name you put "luv" and "SOO" doesn't have three o's. I am not a grammar Nazi but I don't like grammar Nazis and I especially don't like people who say they're one but aren't. I know it's spelling but grammar and spelling mix.

146- I've had this name as a screen name for years, and the extra O's were to emphasize and draw out the word.

Next time, give it a courtesy when the first log splashes. But, I don't think you can be mad about this. Two pounds? That's amazing.

Holy shit! (Pun intended) that's fuckin huge.

Why would you include 'pun intended' ? I think we all got it. Derp.

Yes, a pun's credibility gets removed when someone says pun intended. The point of a pun is to make subtle wordplay yet not have to explain it. That "pun intended" has removed the credibility from, in my opinion, an amateur pun. Then there are always those jackasses who make a pun and say "no pun intended" because they feel the need to ruin everyone's fun. Or should I say everyone's pun. Okay, I'll stop now.

63 you don't need to stop. You're a funny guy. Actually I hope you never stop.

63 You are pretty punny.

how you get constipated?

Google knows the answer.

Constipation is just people who are full of shit.

Eat lots of bananners.

i was born with it

They ate a lot of shitty food.

I would of thought a broken toliet is the least of your problems since your health in involved :S

toilets are lucky. they get alot of ass but then they have to deal with everyone's shit.