Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked...

By missbutthole - 4/6/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34522

You deserved it

3850

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Top comments

By Perdition | 4

#2619321 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:01

There are these things called bushes. Generally located in the vicinity of everywhere, they can be used for a multitude of activities, including:

- Looking pretty
- Looking ugly
- Being shaped into odd animals
- Being shaped into objects and shapes
- Covering someone while they take a shit
- and more!

Please call 1 123 456 7890 to reserve your FREE copy of "How to man up and not be a pansy about things"!

By xxAlli | 0

#2619290 - Saturday 4 June 2011 19:57

Go to another building instead of waiting?

Comments

By theotherguy89 | 0

#2619281 - Saturday 4 June 2011 19:57

first!!!!!!!

whiteboy7thst | 2

#2619334 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:02

Waste of valuable comment space...

By lyn29 | 0

#2619286 - Saturday 4 June 2011 19:57

plouf ...helps ?

Docbee | 11

#2619393 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:08

...Dx that sounds like a shitty situation

bbucaro98 | 0

#2619394 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:09

take a dump on the doormat

nolaneldridge | 1

#2619475 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:22

cartman style

Discombobulated9 | 12

#2619523 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:33

...I've never known someone to be so full of shit.

Epilepsy_fml | 0

#2619578 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:38

The same puns over and over again are not funny at all...

Discombobulated9 | 12

#2619629 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:44

People putting a downer on the mood aren't funny at all...

imacreeper | 3

#2619650 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:46

48, he's not being a downer, it's just that that shit gets old and annoying.

Discombobulated9 | 12

#2619660 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:47

#50 Was that a pun? :D

imacreeper | 3

#2619677 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:50

glad you caught it!

eshhayz | 0

#2619827 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:11

talk about a shitty situation !!

PurpleRae420 | 0

#2619948 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:40

So take their newspaper and go behind the buidling squat and do your business lol having to go outside happens to all of us just don't shit yourself !!

imacreeper | 3

#2619959 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:43

75..no sweetie *sigh*..just..just no.

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2620133 - Saturday 4 June 2011 22:24

75-- Wow, your streak of getting thumbed down is greater than a nerd's kill-streaks while playing COD.

zendaddy0 | 0

#2620282 - Saturday 4 June 2011 23:04

wow that must of been an intense moment

stephmariee17 | 0

#2620339 - Saturday 4 June 2011 23:19

you're in a shit load of trouble my friend. but why would you be at your work a half an hour before they open? go to the nearest place where there's a bathroom I guess?

bbucaro98 | 0

#2621436 - Sunday 5 June 2011 2:18

no more puns

angelpies | 0

#2621758 - Sunday 5 June 2011 3:32

Just shit outside the door.

By xxAlli | 0

#2619290 - Saturday 4 June 2011 19:57

Go to another building instead of waiting?

AppleCurry | 0

#2619297 - Saturday 4 June 2011 19:58

that's what I was just thinking. Unless his job is in the middle of no where there should be a nearby bathroom.

iLazy | 0

#2619359 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:04

Warehouse 13?

kingtz | 6

#2619470 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:22

There must be a McDonalds or Starbucks nearby.

DreaminOfMusic | 0

#2619614 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:43

32- that is such a cute picture!

mtlooney225 | 0

#2620082 - Saturday 4 June 2011 22:15

just go poop behind a bush. use a leaf for tp(; haha. jp(:

mexicotoucher | 7

#2620242 - Saturday 4 June 2011 22:56

Don't they have public toilets in New York?

streetllama | 4

#2620347 - Saturday 4 June 2011 23:24

Just drive somewhere else or did you already drop the load?

A7X_LoVeee | 10

#2621382 - Sunday 5 June 2011 2:07

Why go to another building when he can just take a dump in the middle of the street?

By winnn_fml | 0

#2619308 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:00

when it comes to poop it's serious business

i_wuz_nver_here | 31

#2619895 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:30

that's some serious shit there

futtbuck101 | 1

#2620016 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:56

must...resist...but can't!! That's a shitty situation

funnyFMLSplz | 0

#2622685 - Sunday 5 June 2011 7:03

I just read that in quagmires voice :D

XXizzlerXX | 0

#2657449 - Saturday 11 June 2011 2:22

you could always poop behind a bush?

By sensoon15 | 7

#2619311 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:00

yea go to another building or just find somewhere isolated and shit.

volley4eva1698 | 0

#2620277 - Saturday 4 June 2011 23:03

bushes are always nice!

theguy33 | 1

#2622663 - Sunday 5 June 2011 6:57

I would just pop a squat behind a tree or something

By electric12 | 0

#2619313 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:00

awe muffin :( lol

chiddy_bang71 | 0

#2619900 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:32

if u were trying to be funny and cute, u failed.

bamxitsxandreaa | 8

#2620253 - Saturday 4 June 2011 22:58

^^ hahaha.

By fairygirl88 | 5

#2619316 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:00

try not to get any on the sidewalk

kaleighiscool | 0

#2619422 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:13

Uhm; Ew ... O___o ?

TheCrazyAli28 | 0

#2619672 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:49

how's that ew? that's hilarious

instnt1nfction | 16

#2619888 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:30

it's not hilarious it's business

By Perdition | 4

#2619321 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:01

Perdition | 4

#2619342 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:02

Also:

OP, you're in freakin' New York. Walk 30 feet and use another company's restroom.

iAmScrubs | 19

#2619479 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:25

I called that number 9, and nobody answered.

Sylvee | 0

#2619494 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:28

34-you are an idiot.

kaleighiscool | 0

#2619525 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:33

35- Your a moron rapped in an idiot.

chickunkey | 0

#2619530 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:34

35- You're an idiot as well.

baby_dee97 | 8

#2619616 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:43

38 you're a moron wrapped in an idiot for spelling wrapped wrong

omg_a_BALLOON | 0

#2619745 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:58

47, You're an idiot for not punctuating your sentence.

geko911 | 22

#2619923 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:36

finaly found the idiot convention!! hey guys how ya all doin??

Perdition | 4

#2619925 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:38

^ killed it.

woahbro2slow | 0

#2619945 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:40

* y'all

tsim_fml | 0

#2619975 - Saturday 4 June 2011 21:47

58- win

cupcakeluver1212 | 0

#2620524 - Saturday 4 June 2011 23:53

I think that is the best list I have ever seen in my life.

x_messyjessy_x | 0

#2620885 - Sunday 5 June 2011 0:57

I'm guessing you are all victims of constipation and the only way of 'releaving' it is to be mean to others :/ hmm

aardvarkish | 15

#2621800 - Sunday 5 June 2011 3:38

Perdition, I'm impressed. Bravo.

Eggers | 2

#2622210 - Sunday 5 June 2011 4:57

47- You're just a hypocrite for saying "wrong" when you should have said "incorrectly"

By this_female | 0

#2619339 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:02

hahaha aww . sucks !

By ChibiChibi_fml | 26

#2619353 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:04

Surely there is a gas station or something somewhere in the vicinity of your work.

baby_dee97 | 8

#2619634 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:45

hey don't call me shirley

sourgirl101 | 25

#2619769 - Saturday 4 June 2011 20:59

"Airplane"!