Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML
Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
HippoCampus 7
Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!
miserypoison 13
0-1 Toilet wins.
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Comments (217)
unrose 1
should have done it piece by piece.
Randuhh_17 4
Pour some Pepto down the toilet...
susie_spiff 0
wow thats 2 pounds in the crapper!
bgaustad 0
um for one you don't gain weight from being constipated and you don't lose weight ether so pull your ass out of your dam head
DawnMarie11 0
sheesh this doesn't classify as a fml. this is just to much damn info!
some1azn 0
The hell, did you like swallow a while meat loaf and let it sit there??? XD
some1azn 0
*whole -.-
Skatejock21 0
Seriously? you actually think you lost weight from going number 2? That myth has been tested by many people, and it doesn't work, so I don't know where you're getting that idea. I actually find it quite funny how you think you lost 2 pounds from going to the bathroom. Kind of sounds like you're an airhead! =P Do you really care that much about weight to be satisfied about 2 pounds?
ReynshineCutting 10
It's possible to lose weight after taking a dump. 2 pounds is a lot but you can easily lose 1. And if someone is trying to lose weight, yes 2 pounds is a big deal. Your comments just keep getting more and more ignorant.
Skatejock21 0
ignorant? I used to be overweight, as well as my wife. We've both been down that path. I never got to 135 pounds of muscle by going number 2. Two pounds meant nothing when I was trying to lose weight, it was actually quite disappointing. I lost all my weight riding a motorbike compared to when I was going number 2, because I never lost weight doing so.
KaylieeJay 4
It is possible to loose weight from going to the bathroom. You don't loose any fat, but the weight of the urine/faeces that was in you is now gone- making you lighter. Doesn't make you any skinnier though.
samicna 4
curtisey flush is not just for people. the toilet appreciates it too!
yasssx3 6
#141 either way he/she lost some type of weight, no where did the op say it was fat. just that he/she lost weight. so why don't you read the fml more carefully. so how are u gonna go & say go join a gym; you just seem stupid and if your gonna try and be a bitch about it make sense Your welcome (:
alicecanitbe 0
at least u got it out :P