Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML
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Top comments
amitalegaonkar 0
No wonder he dumped you, dipshit.
mrbattleman 10
YDI idiot also, you don't have your own phone to pretend to talk to someone with? that makes me think you're, like, 12 or under which makes it less of a big deal
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Comments (63)
smith314 0
idjet I did that with my calculator on purpose
4ube_fml 6
Why would you care if your ex knows (or not) that you're single (or not) ? It's called EX for a reason.
Allymeme 3
I swear I commented on this...
Witchcraft_fml 5
For some reason a ton of comments have been disappearing in a bunch of FMLs. :[ ManUpFucker's comment and my reply vanished.
luvbird1 0
smart 1 swifty!!!!! :p
nena2174 0
To all of you who stated "We saw an identical FML last week", FYL for being such lifeless losers LMFAO
FoundManyLemons 0
To everyone ever: Stop doing this. YDI.
Subjectzero 0
you are an insecure twat and youbdeserve all the embarassment from that.
Red_Dawn 0
Why do women do this? It just blows my mind. Ladies, if we're out with our *new* girlfriend, leave us the hell alone. We didn't go out to make you jealous. We went out together to do stuff with each other. Not to watch you flip out and prance around trying to make us jealous. We are no longer with you, therefore, we usually don't care that you are there. Stop trying to make us jealous and move on with your life. Stop acting childish.
BlackScorpionAng 0
No kidding...but I've seen guys do this crap too. ....try to make their ex jealous, it's not a gender issue, it's just that some people aren't mature enough to get over the fact that the relationship is over and move on. Typically the whole game playing mindset "I'm going to make you jealous now" was what sank the relationship to begin with...they played head games and were always doing retarded shit in the relationship. So seeing them at some party attempting to make me jealous with another person just makes me want to puke and be even more grateful I got out of the relationship with the head game player. Seeing that kind of shit makes me feel repulsed by them even more... and not at all jealous.
ManUpFucker 0
I am sorry but I lol'd at "sink the relationship." Now I keep thinking what the **** were they doing on the Relation Ship and why did it sink?
Witchcraft_fml 5
While it bugs me that you're grouping together everyone who acts like that and labeling them "females", it really would be sadly pathetic to see an ex flailing around trying to look cool. Last year I saw my ex-boyfriend that I'd previously been with for two years at the movies with his new girlfriend. I just smiled and waved hello. No flipping out, no grabbing the nearest guy for an intense jealousy-spurred make-out session, no talking and giggling loudly into my phone to nobody.
macbeater 0
what a dumbass!
madaddicted 0
LOL wtf? how'd you get into the calculator on your phone? you really didn't have to do the new boyfriend thingy. it doesn't matter. yeah.. i sorta agree with the other guys, just ignore them. I mean, you don't have to be in a relationship every second of your life. it doesn't matter if they notice you, so what if your single now? Btw there must have been something wrong with you, thats probably why he broke up with you.