Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML
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Top comments
amitalegaonkar 0
No wonder he dumped you, dipshit.
mrbattleman 10
YDI idiot also, you don't have your own phone to pretend to talk to someone with? that makes me think you're, like, 12 or under which makes it less of a big deal
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Comments (63)
blader0314 3
had you ever heard of using your phone?
Lily_cl 0
HAHAHAHA that must have been embarassing xD
mina_8 0
Your mother's phone is a calculator?
Zoombus 0
would you calm down people? it doesn't mean she's an idiot, or that she deserved it.
null_fml 11
Yes it does.
deliciouslythat 0
To #44, I agree with #49. Not all of us have phones, so shut up and think about other people besides yourself.
LifeisEffingHard 0
Lol, awkward.
jane99 2
Haha thank you for making me laugh, it was much needed.
99MDC 0
Hmm. If true, FYL. But, something doesn't seem right about this FML. There was a similar one a few days ago.
srak 0
well guess who won't be getting a good tip
Allymeme 3
You are the biggest loser alive. You deserve the humiliation. You're probably someone who would stalk a guy too... you're probably high school aged too, so the move was stupid. Eventually he would find out that you're still single. It hasn't been that long since I was in High School, and I remember that everyone always knew who was dating who... even if someones boyfriend/girlfriend wasn't in school or at another school, people always knew who was single and who wasn't. You might as well have saved yourself the time and humliation. You might as well give up at life now because you're never going to get anywhere with brains like yours. You're probably some blond anyway.