Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then...

By Busted - 31/12/2010 20:52 - Mexico

Today, I canceled my ATM card, because it had been lost. Then I found it. Then I found out I can't reactivate it, because I asked for a replacement card. I'm from CA, and I'm in Mexico with only 20 bucks. FML

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Holidays

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Breaking Badly

By FreshFaced - 12/6/2011 11:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

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By HiImAlfredo - 14/9/2014 18:47 - United States - Hampton

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

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By addicted2v - 21/1/2012 13:25 - United States

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

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By Noname - 2/3/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

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By nic - 1/4/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

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By trainE - 30/3/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

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By Miguel Ezpeleta - 29/5/2020 05:00

Never get involved

Today, I was working for my cousin. However, two weeks ago I found out my cousin's wife was cheating on him, through lying to her best friend. I told him, and he later told her. They've apparently made up, because I got fired. FML

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By elovan - 25/7/2015 08:33 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

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By merp. - 2/2/2013 06:57 - United States - Wausau

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

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By time to put you down, gran - 1/12/2012 22:53 - United States

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/12/2016 04:33 - United States - Yuma

Today, after buying hundreds of dollars worth of Christmas presents, my transmission blew up on the interstate heading home. Now, I either have to return the gifts or not drive over 25. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/7/2015 11:58 - Germany - Paderborn

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

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By therewasnocurtain - 6/4/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

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By skrumpp - 20/3/2014 16:15

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/9/2015 17:02

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

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By myles bevan - 9/9/2010 10:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 07:29 - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

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By Anonymous - 18/6/2013 10:44 - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

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By Anonymous - 21/3/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

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By tedfragle - 28/9/2016 09:52 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I realised that as I get closer to home, I drive slower and slower so I'm away from my husband for longer. FML

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By and the truth comes out - 22/7/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

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By Autumn - 18/12/2017 01:30

TMI

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/2/2017 00:00 - Canada

Not how it works...

Today, my classmate told me she can copy an article from the internet and hand that in, as long as she cites it at the end. FML

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By disgusted - 29/3/2014 21:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

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By shbaxter - 16/3/2020 06:00

That's nuts

Today, I finally got my car back after it was in the auto shop for a week. On my way home, I started swerving all over the road. It turns out they didn't tighten the lug nuts on one of my wheels properly. FML

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By RdL - 17/3/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2012 14:15 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

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By ShayanFCB - 20/10/2009 19:35 - United States

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

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By Highschoolisover! - 26/10/2017 01:30

Today, a good friend refuses to speak to me because she found out that I slept with her husband. It happened twelve years before they met. FML

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By alliobamy - 28/9/2009 04:09 - United States

Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML

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By tony1401 - 2/2/2010 16:00 - United States

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/9/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML

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By FuckLife - 11/2/2012 13:41 - Australia

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

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By Bali_Boil - 16/1/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15 minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

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By lonelynessinCA - 14/3/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

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By silentsuzie - 12/2/2010 15:23 - United States

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

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By apparently inexperienced - 11/9/2012 16:54 - United States - Brockton

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/1/2016 19:31 - United States - Cloquet

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

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Top comments

By bugmenot1 | 1

#747872 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:25

You are in Mexico with 20 USD...What's the problem with living like a king?

By allaayy_naa | 0

#747900 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:33

i guess you'll just have to sell your body. probably won't be a problem.

COMMENTS

By Kttttt | 0

#747838 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:17

First! YDI for cancelling it in Mexico.

Yarrachel | 16

#747890 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:31

YDI for being first.

ninaaftermath | 0

#748339 - Friday 1 January 2010 7:09

I know something great that you can get for less than 20 bucks in Mexico : SWINE FLU

lnull | 0

#748456 - Friday 1 January 2010 9:28

swine flu is a joke

TheLoneWolf87 | 4

#748461 - Friday 1 January 2010 9:33

I know something better you can get in the U.S. for less than $15. AIDS!!

sleephunters | 8

#749775 - Saturday 2 January 2010 4:10

STFU you are an ignorant prick

crashsapphire93 | 4

#1064510 - Monday 5 July 2010 11:13

contact an embassy, at the very least you could find a place to crash after your money runs out.

code2264 | 0

#1076268 - Saturday 10 July 2010 1:59

that'll last a while in mexico

ArentICute | 0

#2939945 - Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:14

Better start walking.

By MF12 | 0

#747849 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:20

sell your iPhone or iPod touch

scottyrocks123 | 21

#1932661 - Thursday 6 January 2011 5:36

maybe ha has a computer instead. computers will sell for more money though

ArentICute | 0

#2939952 - Wednesday 20 July 2011 20:16

Most likely a laptop, or he visited an internet cafe.

By somethingnew319 | 0

#747868 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:24

ha ur broke

By bugmenot1 | 1

#747872 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:25

You are in Mexico with 20 USD...What's the problem with living like a king?

diet_otaku | 0

#748763 - Friday 1 January 2010 16:00

"*gasp* a nickel... *turns to boss* you see this? *slaps boss* i quit! i open my own hotel!"

RoxyRaccoon | 4

#748918 - Friday 1 January 2010 18:32

Hehehe. :)

fawfulster | 11

#753551 - Monday 4 January 2010 0:41

$20 USD are worth $200 MP what the fuck can you buy with that? Groceries at the very least.

xxdarkxangel98xx | 3

#3202705 - Tuesday 30 August 2011 2:21

You're not rich with 20 dollars in Mexico he basically has 200 and a piece of candy can cost you 10...

By mcal2013 | 0

#747873 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:25

20 bucks could get you a lot in Mexico.

By iamazombie | 0

#747876 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:26

lmfao $20 in mexico is a lot of money... you'll be fine

By Yarrachel | 16

#747878 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:26

YDI for being an illegal immigrant.

ozunanunez | 0

#748356 - Friday 1 January 2010 7:23

#7
who the f said she was illegal?

LifeFucksUsAll | 0

#748930 - Friday 1 January 2010 18:43

Don't feed the troll.

By carolthebitch | 0

#747884 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:29

what country are u from?

Kttttt | 0

#747889 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:31

CA, would be California, so United States.

carolthebitch | 0

#747898 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:32

oh, i thought she meant Central America, stupid me

dudeitsdanny | 9

#748114 - Friday 1 January 2010 2:55

Central America isn't a country..
And they don't use dollars in any country in Central America..

flyingburger | 0

#748142 - Friday 1 January 2010 3:12

she was asking which central american country she was from.

dudeitsdanny | 9

#748149 - Friday 1 January 2010 3:17

Then I take back the first part =)

Grndslmhttr3 | 0

#749944 - Saturday 2 January 2010 6:29

Why would you take back saying that Central America isn't a country? It's still not a country regardless of what was being asked.

By allaayy_naa | 0

#747900 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:33

i guess you'll just have to sell your body. probably won't be a problem.

I_am_stupid_also | 6

#747923 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:47

Yeah. with an ID of Busted, she should be fine.

perdix | 29

#748256 - Friday 1 January 2010 5:07

allaayy_naa,

It's hard to make money in Mexico as a prostitute -- too many frijoles.

ozunanunez | 0

#748349 - Friday 1 January 2010 7:16

#40..,
i love frijoles!

mrmystery96 | 0

#748379 - Friday 1 January 2010 7:47

hahaha I just got the joke! "free holes!"

By MissOriginal | 0

#747905 - Friday 1 January 2010 0:34

SHIT!!!
Cross the border into San Diego from Tijuanna, take a bus up to where ever ur from, or ask a friend to drive u...

mrmystery96 | 0

#748387 - Friday 1 January 2010 7:51

Or she could use have of it to buy a ticket to guatamala. Then buy a house, and work as a prostitute.