By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 03:29 - United States - Newark

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 213
You deserved it 5 465

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You didn't have any say on the names of your kids? I'm surprised you didn't know about any former lovers at all. I'm not sure about others but I thought couples usually talk about stuff like that between eachother.

I believe #1 is implying that since OP's wife is into women he can get her to have threesomes.


DenBriZel 31

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Enlighten us, #22, on how to achieve such a goal :)

I believe #1 is implying that since OP's wife is into women he can get her to have threesomes.

DyslexicPanda 12

ORLYNAO? :O please tell me more, 34

We can only assume OP's wife slept with another woman. Maybe the daughter is named Bob or more something.

You know there are a lot of unisex names, right? Let's start with celebrities... Jamie (Jamie Bell and Jamie Lee Curtis), Morgan (Morgan Freeman and Morgan Fairchild), Shannon (Shannon Leto and Shannon Elizabeth), Taylor (Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift), Tracy (Tracy Morgan and Tracy Chapman) and Hayden (Hayden Christensen and Hayden Panettiere)

Your problem being, good sir? That she might have had an affair with another woman? Must suck, though, that she named your kids after former lovers.

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I guess bisexuality isn't a thing then.

I don't think they're interests are conflicting if they both like pussy.

Not everyone likes to share or is open to the idea of a threesome either.

There are plenty of ambiguous names that both girls and guys can be named the same: Erin/Aaron, Kendall, Adrian, Skylar, Loren/Lauren, etc.... Then there's a possibility that the wife could take a male name like Michael and named her daughter Michelle. It would still keep the remembrance of the former lovers that way as well. Don't jump to assumptions that OP's wife was into women just because she named her daughter after a former lover...... Although, it is a possibility, it's not a definite.

Love that you were like, and your problem? but then finished with it must suck... massive change of direction there

The problem shouldn't be that she's been with a female, just that she named her kids after her former lovers in the first place.

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That's not the problem, the problem is he will now think of his wife's former lovers every time he calls his child's name

and the problem is that his wife is also into women.

PterodactylMan 23

You won, they didnt. End of story

Obviously they won at least a little bit since she named her children after them.

79- Why exactly is that a problem? There are plenty of bisexual women who marry men. It's about love, not sex. If she was with another woman at some point, so what? It's no different than her having had boyfriends prior to her marriage. Just, like, do you have a problem with people who aren't straight?

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Oh maybe the wife was trying to hide this information from OP. Not everything is simple.

The way I understood this is that these were affairs, not ex-relationships. If that is the case, his wife was probably trying to hide it from him.

Except the OP says nothing remotely close to hinting at adultery.

MTCoralReefer 10

I agree. . how could you name your children without knowing were the name came from?! Talk to your wife man

Well most names done have a story behind it. Parents just give their kids a name they like.

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dstamm2 10

#9 doesn't seem to understand sarcasm.

leogachi 15

Missed the point entirely, did you?

Hosing down in the back yard? Sounds like a party!

5, if your spouse named your children after their exes, would that sit well with you? Give the obnoxious sarcasm a rest.

23 - I believe he was making fun of the fact that OP thought that his wife being with another woman at some point was sordid, to the point of being another bad thing about the situation. In reality, the fact that one of them was a woman shouldn't matter; the fact that she named their kids after her exes is the only thing that the OP should be upset about

#33 Finding out your spouse swings both ways via your kids' names would be pretty surprising.

33, and how would you infer that he thought his wife being with another woman was sordid? First of all, OP saying "we have two sons and a daughter" doesn't really mean that much in terms of how he felt about her past relationships like it tells how he feels about his children's names. Second there are gender-neutral names. Just because they have a daughter doesn't mean it's definite that OP's wife was with a woman at some point. There's just not enough info in this fml.

Then why didn't he just say 'we have three children'? He specifically pointed out two were male one was female so that has to count for something.

Don't think the problem was that she slept with other people, but that she named their kids after people she slept with

Bud_fml 16
Wizzlbang 10

I don't think that's that's point. She named her kids after them, that's kinda ****** up. "Mommy, why'd you name me Alice?" "Alice was a lady I had sex with before I met your dad, sweetie."

What time should we schedule the community stoning of the unclean woman? Will it be BYOR? (Bring Your Own Rocks)

Nobody's that naive. It's just in really bad taste to do something like that - an insult to either gender. I sincerely hope his wife was just making a bad joke.

cho_bee 9

You didn't have any say on the names of your kids? I'm surprised you didn't know about any former lovers at all. I'm not sure about others but I thought couples usually talk about stuff like that between eachother.

It doesn't say in the FML that he didn't know about any formal lovers.

I think I know the names: Thatpersianguyfromthebar, Thatblackdudefromthebar and thatoneexperimentallesbianfromthebar.

I think most people wouldn't like to talking about former lovers with their current partner.

NagainaFier 16

I have no history what so ever, but at some point, I would want the run down of all significant others just so I'm not caught off guard at a later date.

"So honey, I've been thinking we should sit down and tell each other the names of all our ex-lovers" Am I the only one who thinks that sounds weird? I've never asked my boyfriend anything about his ex girlfriends. If he's not seeing them anymore, they don't matter.

I think it depends on the relationship. I've been with my husband since high school and because of that we know who we each dated. It makes sense if you meet later in life not to recall all your exes though.

skyttlz 32

My boyfriend talks about his ex's a lot. It kind of bugs me when he says things like "she was smokin hot" and that he's had lots of sex with lots of girls.

#98 That's obviously not how the conversation would go. If these exes were important enough to OP's wife that she'd want to name kids after them,

Oops, I sent that too early by mistake. Point being that talking about past relationships can help you learn what others have done wrong or right in the eyes of your partner so you can be better in touch with what he/she wants/needs from you. In that conversation, names would normally be brought up. Not knowing the names of these important people from his wife's past means he either didn't care enough to ask or he didn't listen when she told him. Either way, it's his fault.

A lot of people might not take the conversation deeper than "I slept with someone in college." And that might be acceptable for some people. Being honest I wouldn't care to know their names unless I knew them or I thought there was a potential for this past lover to come up.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

I feel bad for little Coffeechickblows. Lifetime of bullying, persecution by the IRS, and erectile dysfunction for that one.

CaiDog 20

Umm... am I missing something here? That made no sense.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

It's really quite simple sir, I ****** OP's wife back in '99 and she named the kid after my FML screen name. Because the name's so weird, the kid'll be bullied to hell in school and when he or she hits adulthood, the IRS will confuse the kid with me and try to collect on my massive tax fraud. Furthermore, I have massive difficulty getting an erection and I worry it's hereditary. Not sure how you didn't figure any of that out.

well, she could of named them honey boo boo?

That isn't her real name, honey boo boo's name is Alana.

CaiDog 20

Somebody watches too much honey boo boo!

TheDrifter 23

So you married someone you knew nothing about and didn't even help choose your kids names?

Have conversation with your wife. Maybe she just happened to like those particular names.

NagainaFier 16

I could see that for MAYBE one name- MAYBE. And even still that's unlikely. If I'm ever screaming a dude's name in the throughs of passion, I'm not naming my kid after that person (with the exception of like... Bob jr., and even then I'd never call the kid Bob), no matter how much I like the name- ESPECIALLY if he's an ex lover. No, to name all her kids after her past lovers, that's just a littttle too strange for my tastes.