fiftyno
Tacoma, United States
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
boblaj
Hastings, United Kingdom
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Divorce?
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
GroosedOut
United States
Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML
Anonymous
Gig Harbor, United States
Read and learn
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
I_dislike_Twilight
United States
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Time for a divorce, I think
Edison, United States
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Anonymous
Redmond, United States
You what now?
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Ouch
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
i fking love docb
Christiansted, Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Top comments
RealTalk0 7
She's doing it for you, buddy. I'd be flattered.
Volcan_fml 22
So your wife thinks she's Kristen Stewart now?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
unknown_user5566 27
Why are you complaining? Yeah, the book itself is rubbish, but it's getting your wifey all hot and bothered. If I were you, I'd be complaining less, and seducing more.
simonsaysYDI 8
I haven't read these books and do I'm unaware of what lip biting has to do with it. I've seen many many references to lip biting being sexy way before those books came out though, sooo maybe not entirely that's series' fault.
nerdchic 5
The girl in the book bites her lip constantly and it's a major turn on for Christian grey. Idky he's complaining. It's going to benefit him in the long run
Levvy 22
It's because it started as a Twilight fan fiction (literally) and that's the only facial expression Kristen Stewart can make besides "Default".
j_cat187 20
Personally, I would think biting her lip would be better. You should try it.
TheHarvest 7
I feel your pain my friend!
rosha267 21
Ugh just when we get done with Twilight we get a whole new batch of bullshit to hear about :(
rebel_belle1974 5
maybe she's hungry you should feed.her
nerdchic 5
Pretty sure you'll benefit from that book do stfu
annie_nk 23
How? Not many women like getting their ass beaten red.
empath 20
The fact that 50 shades of grey was able to become popular is just another reason why people believe there is no hope for the human race. I won't be reading any of them, I've already heard enough about the content to be disgusted; and not for the reasons you'd think. I'm not a prude, the reason I'm against these books is because of the way they portray the BDSM community; and because people like OP's wife follow it blindly, when did people start believing everything they read?
EpicBlondie89 19
Welcome to today's "follow" society. Now because if these books it's ok to have a controlling sadistic boyfriend.
unknown_user5566 27
I find it ironic that you're expressing your disgust for the people who believe everything they read, while stating you're not going to read the books based upon what you've heard about them.
zombie_kiss 4
Ouch... Want some ice for that burn?
Lacalema 21
I can think of another book that's hundreds of years older, people blindly follow, and it's the best selling book of all time. This believing everything they read thing is not a new trend.
nvolpitta 2
Baha hahahahah
annie_nk 23
Just when I thought that fandom was starting to die down. :(