fiftyno
Tacoma, United States
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
boblaj
Hastings, United Kingdom
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Divorce?
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
GroosedOut
United States
Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML
Anonymous
Gig Harbor, United States
Read and learn
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
I_dislike_Twilight
United States
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Time for a divorce, I think
Edison, United States
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Anonymous
Redmond, United States
You what now?
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Ouch
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
i fking love docb
Christiansted, Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Top comments
RealTalk0 7
She's doing it for you, buddy. I'd be flattered.
Volcan_fml 22
So your wife thinks she's Kristen Stewart now?
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Comments (219)
maemismile 22
Well, that escalated quickly.
TheOnlyX 11
That would be a great time to face palm and just walk away.
FMLTuna 6
Fml is more about making other commenters happy than just posting what you want. It's actually really annoying.
dixiefoxx 22
I've never even read Fifty Shades of Grey
porkpiehat 8
Good luck humping your fist when she starts ignoring you...
holyshitbatman 20
some women go overboard...others, however, like myself, read it purely for entertainment.
Moonshadows 1
I'm sorry you're wife has been suckered into thinking 50 Shades of Grey is real literature.
rocketiquette 20
Fifty shades of cray...
doodlecloud 27
I was biting my lip way before that crap. I have never felt the need to practice though...if you're having enough fun, it should just come naturally you know? : /
elmck20 4
I honestly don't see why this is a big deal...?