fiftyno
Tacoma, United States
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
boblaj
Hastings, United Kingdom
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Divorce?
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
GroosedOut
United States
Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML
Anonymous
Gig Harbor, United States
Read and learn
Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the three books. FML
I_dislike_Twilight
United States
Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
Time for a divorce, I think
Edison, United States
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Anonymous
Redmond, United States
You what now?
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Ouch
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Anonymous
Las Vegas, United States
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
i fking love docb
Christiansted, Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Top comments
RealTalk0 7
She's doing it for you, buddy. I'd be flattered.
Volcan_fml 22
So your wife thinks she's Kristen Stewart now?
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Comments (219)
DotZz 4
It's seriously not that bad. She's practicing it to be sexy for you! Duhh!! And she's probably reading it to spicen up your sex life.
DotZz 4
One more thing, if you think the book is gay, then question how your sex life is, cause it doesn't sound so good if she has to buy that book just to heat up your sex life....
lRAGEl 2
Might come in handy.
Iniezian 18
Dear lord, what is this sudden obsession with Fifty Shades of Grey? How on earth did a novel about a BDSM-obsessed horny couple get so popular? Personally, I'd only ever read Fifty Shades of Grey if it was made into an audiobook narrated by Morgan Freeman.
zfchatroulette 24
#213 that needs to happen.
fuckisright 5
*practicing
Taurus_ChicKa 37
For anyone wondering about the reference, in the book, Ana is constantly biting her lip and it turns Christian on. So maybe OP's wife thought doing that would have a similar effect. I was completley against the books at first, but after all the fads and discussions, I thought I'd give them a try. I'm only eight chapters into the first book and I'm hooked. They're not that bad. Neither is Twilight. :p [/troll]
Bludmagnus 13
What I think is hilarious about all of this "Grey" obsession is the fact that women across the globe are going nuts over a book that is romanticizing a lifestyle (BDSM) that is supposedly contradictory to feminism, and that in fact is nothing more than window-dressed stereotypes of people who they think go into that lifestyle. Not only is the book tripe, but the author, E. L. James, either knows absolutely nothing about the lifestyle and how it works, or is glorifying those stereotypes. Also.. she sets it mostly in Seattle, the Mecca of femi-fascist culture in this nation. It is what it is, but just like Twilight... women are making a sensualist religion around it and that is twisted and unhealthy.
repost_police 4
Better than her cheating.
B5B0N35 18
Trolololololo
B5B0N35 18
Trolololololo