Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself
eva_baby25 4
She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"
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Comments (194)
emilymac420 0
Wow sorry, but she has a reason for her trust issues. Just back off and let her cool down. Ah what the hell, just call the unknown women back and then you'll get some!
rttr 18
What if she is just a jealous bitch?
sabrina2fab 0
Ouchhhhh
annihil8or 15
"Jerry, Jerry!"
FroHo 8
...as for the pregnant girl, what a douche move from the guy who knocked her up. I think you'll be OK in the end, op :)
emilymac420 0
Change your profile, frat boy. Nobody wants to see that.. On you..
KMFiredancer 0
71 - I agree...
CaptainPickles72 18
#67- I know you're probably mocking all the teen guys who just take a picture of their body for a profile pic... and I say good job on that! (if that's what you're doing) But I agree with the others, please change it! No offense, and this goes along with any narcissistic guys who also do pics like this, we don't wanna see it! Keep it to yourself!
FroHo 8
Haha.. OK, no problem guys ;)
FroHo 8
However.. Frat boy? Kinda harsh...
rttr 18
What about girls who do that?
obamathellama 0
Women.....
ganjaone 2
She's not ur wife then man. Shouldn't have married that bitch! Nothing good ever happens with marriage
merryhappy1887 20
Hello Maury
musicluvr2000 11
Ouch! I'm sorry for you op. Good luck
lowie89 7
That's why you shouldn't have a house phone anymore...there's no point especially when you have a cell phone
surfnshred 2
In a few months you can be like "bitch you was wrong"
kittenvks 11
Make sure you snap your fingers when you do that OP :)
RedPillSucks 33
And do the "head shake" and say hmmmm mmmmh.