Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mike3775 39
guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself
eva_baby25 4
She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (194)
seximexi911 10
I bet this is just your coverup because you know your wife reads fmls
splitdrip 0
Dang that sucks for you
RedPillSucks 33
I gotta remember that line... "Honest honey. It was wrong number. Don't worry about it". Yeah. That will work.
bigbisawesome 0
OMG! That same thing happened to my step dad but my mom just cussed the bitch out and she believed my dad when he said it wasn't true
oneFUCKINword 8
M
juicifer 0
Talk to bill clinton
beccamon84 0
Prob a bunch of young girls doing a prank call...we did that once and the couple called back LOL
rttr 18
NOT FUNNY or cool
lilpowers 3
That's when you call the number back demanding to know why she lied to you.
jacquib17 6
Was her name Shannon in the msg?
marisadc79 0
If its a wrong number I doubt they'll need a paternity test to all of those bringing one up. If you have caller ID call the woman back and have your wife talk to her. Surely they'll figure out the mix up. I do agree this woman shouldn't be breeding if she leaves a message like that on a machine. FYL.