Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself
eva_baby25 4
She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"
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Comments (194)
loller27 6
women.
rdrr 2
Thats some serious baby mama drama.
DocBastard 40
Wife: You bastard! You asshole! OP: It's a wrong number! I swear! Wife: Then why do you have these prenatal vitamins??!? OP: What? Those are M&Ms!! Wife: I KNEW IT!!! Your wife is an idiot.
The_Hitdude 12
This just made my day. DocBastard, you are my hero. (Yes, I am very easily amused) :)
remz89 3
What's your dp of docBastard?
Angitia 8
That truly is unfortunate... If your wife doesn't believe you, clearly, you have some trust issues in the relationship.
Smokindevil 9
Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
hahahaidontgetit_fml 5
beautiful job re-quoting the FML....
Thekidinme 0
If she.doesnt believe u then obviously shes not a good wife cuz she has trust issues obviously never a good thing in a relationship but u already tied the knot soo figure a way to get her to believe u
dabomb1463 0
Your wife needs to learn to trust you more and in 9 months get a DNA test to prove your right.
cjg2013 0
you probably did.
kateRAWR 4
Wow bad luck she obviously cant trust you and that kinda sucks:(
jdm4life 0
Call her back?