Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself
eva_baby25 4
She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"
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Comments (194)
sball11 4
Well I guess your SOL huh?!? (: life sucks sometimes! ):
thecovert 7
Disd she buy it? Inquiring minds want to know.
davek 36
Someone's gonna end up on Maury (or Jeremy Kyle, if you're this side of the pond)
Colonel_Lexi 18
Woman-YOU'RE THE DADDY, YOU'RE THE BABY DADDY OF MY BABY, MOTHA ******!! OP-I don't know you! I'm not father! Pregnant Woman-TELL HIM MAURY! Maury-"OP...you are NOT the father!" *woman runs backstage crying because the fifth guy she tested isn't the father of her daughter, Mercedes*
vieeev 4
Just call back on speaker when your wife is there to prove it!
ilove80smetal 8
Get a friend to leave a message on your machine saying "sorry I think I got you pregnant. The condoms broke". Then get pissed at her
LucyG 3
Something like that happened to me about 3 years ago. A guy called me and told me really angrily that my number was in his cellphone under a name something like 'Sweetie'. Meanwhile his wife was screaming in the background. I had to ask my dad to calm him down because he wouldn't believe me I wasn't joking with him. I also had to change my phone number.
BayleeTheLlama 3
Looks like you'll be single for the next 9 months. Congratulations. (:
Fmlsea 28
Hopefully the truth comes out soon but if u could call her back that would get rid of this mess quicker
Okayitwasme 0
A friend of mine use to prank call people and sat shit like that! If there was an answering machine look out!!!!!!
Okayitwasme 0
*say* sorry I'm on an I pad. I don't have a "computer" so to speak. To type on here is kinda a three finger typing. I have to change screens to use quotes numbers and commas. It's just not as nice as a full keyboard. I apologise for the spelling errors.
LittleMissTroubl_fml 5
Maury time!