Intimacy: Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left...

By Anonymous - 09/08/2017 20:00

Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 213

You deserved it 352

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Same thing different taste

By donkeyd - 05/02/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 852

You deserved it 2 472

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 127

You deserved it 6 424

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 2 832

Masterclass

By SadOral - 03/07/2019 00:01

Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 581

You deserved it 874

By Innocent - 28/01/2012 13:40

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 497

You deserved it 3 031

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 879

You deserved it 2 840

By TheLoneSoul - 13/09/2015 14:22 - France

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 1 611

By Maxime - 20/11/2008 10:19 - France

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 906

You deserved it 9 841

Great planning

By TheBaconater - 03/02/2013 16:22 - United States - Baraboo

Today, I woke up to a voicemail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 766

You deserved it 2 247

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 193

You deserved it 4 578

rodfergie 18

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:09

at least you have great evidence for the divorce court

PennyLane27 32

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:27

And you can "accidentally" send her a picture of your divorce papers ;)

Comments

Glowworm56 26

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:05

Your wife literally butt dialed you!

rodfergie 18

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:09

at least you have great evidence for the divorce court

skate4lefe 12

Wednesday 9 August 2017 21:05

True?

Matt Kesler 16

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:23

Better Call Saul!

PennyLane27 32

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:27

And you can "accidentally" send her a picture of your divorce papers ;)

gobiteme2 34

Wednesday 9 August 2017 20:58

Would you prefer that she sent a text instead.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 9 August 2017 21:17

You can only imagine what her butt was doing when it dialed you.

pjsr 32

Thursday 10 August 2017 0:25

I hate when I get nut-dialed

jzjz 9

Thursday 10 August 2017 0:34

Think of what she must have done when she realized!

RockPrincess26 16

Thursday 10 August 2017 4:03

Time to divorce that cheating *****!

ezrajab 22

Thursday 10 August 2017 4:34

I hope you mean ex wife

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You deserved it 883

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 999

You deserved it 272

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 143

You deserved it 7 064

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I agree, your life sucks 44 928

You deserved it 3 462

Today, while looking through the newspaper, I saw that my sister got married a couple weeks ago. Not only did she not invite me, she "forgot" to mention it yesterday while we were having lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 88

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 490

You deserved it 412

Today, my friends and I were kicked out of a Red Robin after the manager told us that our server accused us of making "sexually suggestive gestures" towards her. The gesture in question was the circle game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 111

You deserved it 1 481