Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself
eva_baby25 4
She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"
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Comments (194)
structuredchaoz 4
You can always get the phone call log from the phone company and have your wife call her.
ZielZone 4
LoL... Maybe the universe is offering you a way out of your marriage!!
goomonk 2
*months later* It's a boy!!!
Dcm210 19
have your wife call her?
heyred 11
1 - Caller ID is your friend. 2 - Pray you're sterile.
bandit6 2
Obviously your wife had someone call and leave that message so she can cheat on you and eventually end the marriage, blaming it all on you. Duh
kei1108 13
Call the number back and say, "who were you trying to reach? Because we think you got the wrong number." You NEED to call her back or else she is going to think that her baby daddy ran away from his responsibilities! CALL HER BACK IMMEDIATELY!! Oh, and FYL.
EduJav321 24
*69 Call her back!
coffeechick 1
As alot have already stated, your wife obviously has issues trusting you, if she doesnt believe you dont know the woman. Wrong numbers happen. Either try to get the phone number and call the pregnant chick back, or do what I would do and tell your wife youre filing for divorce. No trust there
CaptainPickles72 18
No offense, but if you'd divorce someone over some trust issues... don't get married. You're only gonna feed the divorce statistics! Yes, trust issues can cripple a relationship, but it is salvageable! If your significant other has trust issues, it's best to talk things out and try to help them out with their issues, try to build more sturdy trust between you two. If the trust issues are so strong that it does cause many horrendous problems within the relationship, where it makes both of you miserable with each other, than yes, divorce is something that you probably need to consider! But if you truly want to be with someone, you'll try to work on things and fight for a better tomorrow. Sorry for the rant!
dgiss4297 0
should've worn a condom ????jk