Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself
eva_baby25 4
She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"
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Comments (194)
HungerGames95 13
I don't see why they don't just call her back and say "Who were you looking for when you called?" Girl "_____ (insert name of sperm donor here)" He says "Well I'm _____ (name of Innocent" Problem solved.
iDont_fml 0
Clearly, all you have to do is *69 her back, or you can get her number off the answer machine. She will realize she called the wrong number and problem solved.
Ins_Knie 2
Should have 69ed her, then she wouldn't be pregnant...
skipzabeat 0
Maury can fix this problem
shsbrownie 3
call her back and make her fix it. if this bitch screws up your marriage then you best bet she is the responsible one for fixing it.
KiddNYC1O 22
Wives be bitches.
iamdena12 0
oh oh..... trust issues.
nate2790 0
Now THIS is an FML
taytay7878 0
O that sucks make a friend that she doesn't know call and say that the condom broke last night
diidiimi 10
Omg! We had an incident similar to this! An unknown number but they knew my hubby's name. The message was left at like 2am and there was lots of noise in the background. We figured it was someone pranking the wrong Tom.
taytay7878 0
Ok "wrong"
jmoose311 3
Wow, sounds like you married a real champ. My wife would believe me over any other chick in a heartbeat.