Heads up

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

Today, my ex messaged me out of the blue saying she found my fiancée's Tinder profile. I told her there was no way it was true. It actually was. FML

Furious

Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML

Self report

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

Told you so

Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

Simple plan

Today, I got a message from an old friend’s wife. She said they were having a reunion at their place and invited me to come. She spent the whole night trying to get me to hook up with him! She wanted out of the marriage and thought that if she could get him to cheat, she’d get a divorce. FML

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML