Kids: Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely... - FML

04/07/2009 10:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 10 371

Broken heart

Vulture

Naughty boy

Is that how it works?

By SecondTimesACharm - 28/02/2021 17:01 - United States - Woodstock

Today, I tested positive for COVID… again. This pandemic has been going on for so long that after 11 months, my natural immunity has apparently worn off. I'm in the next group for the vaccine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 146

Tiler, the creator

By musicalxtheories - 09/05/2020 08:00

Today, my cat pooped in the shower. How did I find out? I didn't see the poop when I got in. I slipped in it, and smacked my head on the tile wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 256

29/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was told by one of my bridesmaids that she can't afford the travel costs to get to my wedding, after telling me that she didn't need me to organize alternate free travel for her. I'm getting married in less than two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 211

Happy place

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:36 - Poland

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 862

You deserved it 10 869

15/02/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 739

You deserved it 3 038

06/07/2015 21:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 450

You deserved it 9 600

03/09/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 419

You deserved it 5 793

Please don't do this

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 15:38 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 026

You deserved it 6 666

Alexa, fuck off

By GoogleOFF - 07/07/2020 08:08

Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 325

18/11/2014 17:26 - United States - Sierra Madre

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 196

You deserved it 4 422

02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 386

You deserved it 4 176

31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 546

You deserved it 3 528

15/07/2015 02:11

Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 432

You deserved it 2 817

15/03/2016 01:51 - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 094

You deserved it 2 055

07/04/2017 02:00

Today, following the advice of not putting my wallet in my back pocket, I put my wallet in my jacket's chest pocket. I lost my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 504

You deserved it 1 478

13/04/2018 15:00

Today, I tried to get the day off because of snow and ice on the roads, which had already caused 2 accidents close to my house. My boss just called me a useless millennial, fired me, and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 266

You deserved it 1 261

07/08/2015 22:13 - United States - Beaumont

Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 325

18/01/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 8 660

05/02/2011 17:22 - Canada

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 866

You deserved it 37 403

27/03/2009 01:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189 587

You deserved it 37 855

04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 223

You deserved it 2 093

01/06/2018 05:00

Today, I came home to a completely trashed house and just stood there in shock until I heard something upstairs. I ran to heroically catch the robber and, despite being a 4'10" woman, I did it! How? The fat fuck got stuck in my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 447

You deserved it 261

28/02/2009 17:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 023

You deserved it 103 928

18/11/2016 20:57

Today, after a couple of months of enjoying an informal parking arrangement with a local bank, I found out they sold their extra lot without telling me. The new owner's towing company heard about the deal, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 421

You deserved it 766

21/08/2012 23:17 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 948

You deserved it 1 754

22/02/2015 03:47 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 8 668

26/07/2013 05:31 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 120

You deserved it 16 101

08/05/2016 12:14 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to calm down an angry customer who claimed one of my employees had "traumatized" her dog. Apparently her dog is really OCD and my employee didn't line up the dog bed at the right angle. She threatened to report us to the BBB. How do these morons even exist? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 144

You deserved it 1 344

17/05/2010 23:01 - France

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 524

You deserved it 3 271

19/07/2015 06:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 2 317

13/02/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 234

You deserved it 5 558

30/11/2015 01:17 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 524

You deserved it 1 972

19/03/2010 04:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 924

You deserved it 24 917

Still a better love story than The Matrix

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 20:01 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, my wife quit her job, not wanting to go back to in person at her office, to be a stay-at-home mom. Tomorrow, for my birthday, I was going to tell her that I'm not in love with her, have found an apartment, and signed a 2-year lease. I can't afford the apartment, mortgage, and the kids tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 400

Goodbye Bill

By faith - 16/06/2020 23:00

Today, I went to a restaurant to order food with just a $100 bill. They no longer had what I came for, so I left. When I got to my car, I realized - no bill. I went back in for them to say they hadn't seen it, and they wouldn’t check the cameras. I know the lady working there picked it up since I was the only customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 607

20/08/2009 08:54 - Australia

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 484

You deserved it 47 846

26/05/2012 07:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 437

You deserved it 4 745

03/11/2015 07:14 - United States - Dickson

Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 768

You deserved it 4 472

26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 745

03/02/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I trying to scrape the ice off my car, but wasn't having much luck. Frustrated, I kicked a clump off from the bumper. The clump didn't budge, but the entire front quarter panel fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 219

You deserved it 11 089

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

Well yay for you for wearing faux instead of real!

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:03

Well, at least they were thoughtful.

Comments

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:03

Well, at least they were thoughtful.

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:13

Very much so. Must have been an awesome sight to see.

grlwitperlEring 0

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:19

yeah even if it ruined her coat at least she knows her sons care about animals plus a husky in a faux fur coat sounds hilarious

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Saturday 4 July 2009 17:04

Haha awh. That's SO cute. Shitty deal about your coat, but find the silver lining in this one. Your kids have problem solving skills!

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Saturday 4 July 2009 19:46

Funny, Damnit, i lost the game...

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Sunday 5 July 2009 2:39

totally lol thats adorable!! you raised them to respect animals at least, just not your stuff :P

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Saturday 14 August 2010 11:28

you can die now

HunterDanielle 3

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Friday 28 January 2011 18:08

awwww :) that's adorable :')

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:05

Lmao cruelty to animals?

acro_actress95 0

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Tuesday 7 July 2009 18:24

FAUX fur. Definitly not crulitey to animals. That was sweet of your kids though. Sorry about the coats :p

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Wednesday 7 September 2011 4:25

You've never heard of Fauxes? There those sneaky animals that live in the woods.

qazaq 1

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Wednesday 22 February 2012 17:44

Smh if you are going to be a judgmental animal rights activist know what you're taking about

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

hahaha

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

Well yay for you for wearing faux instead of real!

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:07

Awww! That's kinda cute

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:09

You left children young enough to do that home alone? YDI :|

fmyfudginglife 0

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Saturday 4 July 2009 17:21

yea i was thinking that too

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Saturday 4 July 2009 19:45

Well, considering I knew several middle and highschoolers that would do similar... :/ It's possible they are old enough to be home alone - it's also possible she was only talking to a neighbor, and figured making her children tag along would be pointless when she was so close.

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Wednesday 23 June 2010 3:15

#6 so what. it's not that, it's the fact that the kids ruined her coats. and so what? It's seems nice that they helped out the dog. :)

EtherealNight85 9

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:07

I agree, perhaps the kids shouldn't have been left alone long enough to chop up your coats.

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:12

She said it was faux fur.

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Saturday 4 July 2009 17:23

They might have thought faux was fox. Haha.

Klumm 3

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Saturday 4 July 2009 17:41

its faux idiot

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Saturday 4 July 2009 19:17

yeah, faux, not fox! XD

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Sunday 5 July 2009 1:34

yes, I realize it is faux fur, I was referring to owning fur in general. Real or fake.

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Sunday 5 July 2009 8:41

Well if it's fake, whats the problem with it?

Draq 1

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Sunday 5 July 2009 13:22

It's ugly.

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Sunday 5 July 2009 15:07

My thoughts exactly. I think it's extremely ugly.

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Monday 15 February 2010 19:39

What's ugly to you might be attractive to someone else.

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:16

your user name confuses me

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:16

aww, thats so sweet of them though :) haha.

tolkienfanatic 0

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Saturday 4 July 2009 16:19

So I guess the intergogating didn't go very well, then.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 282

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

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You deserved it 69