Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely... - FML

By Peta2nNoMore - 4/7/2009 10:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42469

You deserved it

10359

Tweet

Share

Social distancing gone wrong

Mr Sensitivity

Recycling helps

By shugette212 - 5/12/2014 01:56 - United States

Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27044

You deserved it

7633

Tweet

Share

By mushroomless - 14/10/2015 05:40 - United States - Thayne

Today, I got yelled at in a grocery store by a customer who recognized me from the pizza place where I work. Apparently, I forgot mushrooms on her pizza earlier this afternoon. I had the day off, but thanks for the verbal lashing, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25590

You deserved it

1863

Tweet

Share

By Frazzled - 10/4/2011 10:59 - United States

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29432

You deserved it

11231

Tweet

Share

By Handyhusband - 26/10/2017 13:00 - United States

If the women don’t find you handsome, they’ll at least find you handy...

Today, I installed a doggie door at my wife’s grandmother’s house. I was putting the door back on the hinges when I realized I had put it at the very top of the door instead of the bottom. I’m now trying to turn this hole into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1311

You deserved it

2614

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/8/2009 15:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

129756

You deserved it

5427

Tweet

Share

By Estee1024 - 24/1/2014 05:28 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks

47890

You deserved it

5608

Tweet

Share

By bagadigi - 27/10/2016 14:18 - Canada - Nepean

Today, I was sitting in my old rusty truck in an empty parking lot, when some old lady parks beside me and opens her door, hitting my truck. Having a used up truck, I didn't mind. But you could tell that it made her mad, when she came back with the manager demanding that I pay for her paint job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11728

You deserved it

607

Tweet

Share

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2656

You deserved it

350

Tweet

Share

By fffmmll - 21/3/2011 16:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33869

You deserved it

56060

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/8/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25686

You deserved it

2514

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/1/2012 21:05 - United States

Today, I had my first chorus concert. We got a bigger applause when we left the stage than when we sang. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24450

You deserved it

6773

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 21:59 - New Zealand

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36083

You deserved it

6691

Tweet

Share

By Thai rice mistake - 12/2/2013 08:04 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30708

You deserved it

18919

Tweet

Share

By "bluebird97" - 28/12/2018 20:00

Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me 4 times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift 2 days in a row, apparently that is insensitive of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2640

That could've happened to me

221

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 23:09

Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10824

You deserved it

37410

Tweet

Share

By Christian - 28/9/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53648

You deserved it

3537

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41151

You deserved it

3242

Tweet

Share

By WhyMe - 26/1/2015 01:41 - United States - Wareham

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27147

You deserved it

3872

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/4/2020 17:00

Queue cutters should be prosecuted!

Today, while queuing in a shop, a girl appeared to bunk the line. When I asked her about it, she said it was nothing to do with me. She then asked me what was I going to do about it, before kneeing me in the nuts. I was overtaken by everyone in the queue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1554

You deserved it

183

Tweet

Share

By Thanks Trump - 8/3/2016 22:31 - United States - New York

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18204

You deserved it

1529

Tweet

Share

By Username - 30/4/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31022

You deserved it

7933

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/9/2010 12:11 - Japan

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26030

You deserved it

3971

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 26/6/2016 20:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sick, so I went into work to see if I could get my shift covered, instead of just calling in. I ended up working an extra hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10508

You deserved it

3327

Tweet

Share

By dog_day - 19/12/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28285

You deserved it

2682

Tweet

Share

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/9/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40855

You deserved it

4214

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/5/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Considerate boyfriend

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70627

You deserved it

15768

Tweet

Share

By bubblegummm13 - 27/9/2009 04:30 - Canada

Today, I got an email from my University informing me that I was invited to an exclusive dinner for 25 people. As I continued to read through the email, I discovered that I wasn't lucky or special, but that the dinner was for financially unstable students. They think I'm a charity case. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33624

You deserved it

4451

Tweet

Share

By gfg - 16/3/2009 18:48 - Romania

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

173270

You deserved it

24502

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/10/2019 22:00

You wanker!

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks

850

You deserved it

1738

Tweet

Share

By Unappreciated Grandchild - 6/11/2012 07:59 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20778

You deserved it

2111

Tweet

Share

By touristtraphotel - 11/8/2016 18:58 - Puerto Rico

Today, my former boss is threatening to keep my last paycheck until I return a skateboard that a guest forgot at the hotel about a month ago. She was the one who gave me the order to put it in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14754

You deserved it

834

Tweet

Share

By datingablonde - 11/1/2013 05:20 - Australia - Attadale

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38159

You deserved it

9570

Tweet

Share

By PandaMantis - 25/6/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12291

You deserved it

47926

Tweet

Share

By antwo - 22/1/2012 04:50 - United States

Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31090

You deserved it

6329

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/7/2017 21:30

Today, the manager that hired me and worked for years to inspire and connect her staff was laid to rest. Hours before the funeral, her replacement told me he wanted my 2 weeks notice on his desk tonight. I've been a model employee, he just doesn't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5447

You deserved it

258

Tweet

Share

By wastedbaby - 4/7/2011 02:02 - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46628

You deserved it

3747

Tweet

Share

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25766

You deserved it

2651

Tweet

Share

By A.W - 24/6/2012 13:57 - United States

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32916

You deserved it

2238

Tweet

Share

By Clumsy76 - 20/4/2018 15:00

Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3581

You deserved it

318

Tweet

Share

By pandabear - 12/2/2010 19:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35308

You deserved it

4644

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By rukiafujioka | 0

#367245 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

Well yay for you for wearing faux instead of real!

By NapalmFrog | 0

#367231 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:03

Well, at least they were thoughtful.

COMMENTS

By NapalmFrog | 0

#367231 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:03

Well, at least they were thoughtful.

Reply

Failzoid | 0

#367265 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:13

Very much so.

Must have been an awesome sight to see.

Reply

grlwitperlEring | 0

#367293 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:19

yeah even if it ruined her coat at least she knows her sons care about animals
plus a husky in a faux fur coat sounds hilarious

Reply

DorkusD | 0

#367401 - Saturday 4 July 2009 17:04

Haha awh. That's SO cute. Shitty deal about your coat, but find the silver lining in this one. Your kids have problem solving skills!

Reply

thegame666 | 0

#367878 - Saturday 4 July 2009 19:46

Funny, Damnit, i lost the game...

Reply

jd_superjive | 0

#368989 - Sunday 5 July 2009 2:39

totally lol thats adorable!! you raised them to respect animals at least, just not your stuff :P

Reply

sunshhine | 0

#1240593 - Saturday 14 August 2010 11:28

you can die now

Reply

HunterDanielle | 3

#2017037 - Friday 28 January 2011 18:08

awwww :) that's adorable :')

By Rockey | 3

#367240 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:05

Lmao cruelty to animals?

Reply

acro_actress95 | 0

#375989 - Tuesday 7 July 2009 18:24

FAUX fur. Definitly not crulitey to animals. That was sweet of your kids though. Sorry about the coats :p

Reply

facilitator | 0

#3249795 - Wednesday 7 September 2011 4:25

You've never heard of Fauxes? There those sneaky animals that live in the woods.

Reply

qazaq | 1

#4072895 - Wednesday 22 February 2012 17:44

Smh if you are going to be a judgmental animal rights activist know what you're taking about

By Kyothine | 0

#367244 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

hahaha

By rukiafujioka | 0

#367245 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:06

Well yay for you for wearing faux instead of real!

By delly_fml | 0

#367248 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:07

Awww! That's kinda cute

By clem13_fml | 0

#367255 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:09

You left children young enough to do that home alone? YDI :|

Reply

fmyfudginglife | 0

#367463 - Saturday 4 July 2009 17:21

yea i was thinking that too

Reply

BLNovelist | 0

#367874 - Saturday 4 July 2009 19:45

Well, considering I knew several middle and highschoolers that would do similar... :/ It's possible they are old enough to be home alone - it's also possible she was only talking to a neighbor, and figured making her children tag along would be pointless when she was so close.

Reply

Justforlolz | 14

#1039867 - Wednesday 23 June 2010 3:15

#6 so what. it's not that, it's the fact that the kids ruined her coats. and so what? It's seems nice that they helped out the dog. :)

Reply

EtherealNight85 | 9

#5411085 - Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:07

I agree, perhaps the kids shouldn't have been left alone long enough to chop up your coats.

By beckyb | 0

#367260 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:11

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

ndawgg | 5

#367261 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:12

She said it was faux fur.

Reply

lilacwords | 0

#367469 - Saturday 4 July 2009 17:23

They might have thought faux was fox. Haha.

Reply

Klumm | 3

#367512 - Saturday 4 July 2009 17:41

its faux idiot

Reply

mylittlecrow | 0

#367815 - Saturday 4 July 2009 19:17

yeah, faux, not fox! XD

Reply

beckyb | 0

#368804 - Sunday 5 July 2009 1:34

yes, I realize it is faux fur, I was referring to owning fur in general. Real or fake.

Reply

georgia_fml | 0

#369696 - Sunday 5 July 2009 8:41

Well if it's fake, whats the problem with it?

Reply

Draq | 1

#370038 - Sunday 5 July 2009 13:22

It's ugly.

Reply

beckyb | 0

#370154 - Sunday 5 July 2009 15:07

My thoughts exactly. I think it's extremely ugly.

Reply

amazinggbaby | 2

#859010 - Monday 15 February 2010 19:39

What's ugly to you might be attractive to someone else.

By spillproof | 0

#367282 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:16

your user name confuses me

By fueledbyamy | 0

#367284 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:16

aww, thats so sweet of them though :) haha.

By tolkienfanatic | 0

#367292 - Saturday 4 July 2009 16:19

So I guess the intergogating didn't go very well, then.