Health: Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 261

You deserved it 2 497

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Same thing different taste

My home hates me

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 4 315

By FMyBrain - 06/06/2014 21:26 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 499

You deserved it 6 032

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 1 841

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 479

You deserved it 6 937

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 094

You deserved it 10 656

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 192

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 510

You deserved it 15 613

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 895

You deserved it 1 786

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 004

You deserved it 9 304

Health hazard

By Cupboard? More like headboard - 11/12/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, my mom always forgets to close the cupboards in the kitchen. She's not tall enough to hit her head on them, but I am. I have done so at least a dozen times in the past week. I swear, I'm gonna knock myself out on those cupboards one of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 208

DashPlays 18

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:20

Heat proof means heat won't go through it and burn your hand on the inside. It still heats up on the outside.

_Shake_n_Bake__ 11

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:27

I think your house is trying to tell you something... It's time to pack your bags, the next thing you know a girl is going to be crawling out of your TV late at night.

Comments

sexbangit 13

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:17

Just because something says 'heat-proof'. Why would you decide to test it with your face?

Lady_Spaghetti 36

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:17

When it rains, it pours. Apparently.

DashPlays 18

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:20

Heat proof means heat won't go through it and burn your hand on the inside. It still heats up on the outside.

RememberSchlitz 9

Friday 30 September 2016 0:47

It's true, because Science.

inuyokai52 9

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:22

If you can't stand the heat....

_Shake_n_Bake__ 11

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:27

I think your house is trying to tell you something... It's time to pack your bags, the next thing you know a girl is going to be crawling out of your TV late at night.

species4872 19

Thursday 29 September 2016 9:48

Jinx.

tigeresscrazy 12

Thursday 29 September 2016 10:00

Ok op what did you do to make your kitchen want to kill you lol I hope things get better soon

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 29 September 2016 10:02

This is why a steady diet of take-out fast food is better for your health. Those low-paid workers still know how to survive homicidal kitchens.

iheartbreak 8

Thursday 29 September 2016 10:17

Waterproof devices still get wet

Eleora 19

Thursday 29 September 2016 11:17

Aww hell nah! Get outta there before it gets worse and the spirit becomes attached to you. Lol jk Get the salt and call Dean and Sam! They'll handle that sh*t real quick.