Miscellaneous: Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking...

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 3 082

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Same thing different taste

By FaceTime issues - 06/04/2014 06:57 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 042

You deserved it 5 011

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 76

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 471

You deserved it 2 709

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 4 515

You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 829

You deserved it 3 392

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 781

You deserved it 18 359

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 812

You deserved it 25 006

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 036

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 273

You deserved it 2 444

Nice to know

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 14:52 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 263

You deserved it 961

dcam13 19

Tuesday 12 October 2010 12:14

and now we can't "un-hear" this either.. asshole.

Zebidee 8

Tuesday 12 October 2010 12:35

Creepy to know that about your Mom (you know that WE can't un-read this, right?) However, I must say, if you ever get the chance to try one of those Japanese robot toilet seats, do it, do it, do it! It's hours of entertainment, especially if you can't understand the labels on the buttons, and have to guess what happens when you press one.