KidCudi227
United States 🌶️ Spicy
You sure this is the right time?
Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
eric
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
me
Carthage, United States
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
seaweedlady
United States
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
ReallyMom
Shawano, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Anonymous
United States
Not now!
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Don't wanna know
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
dpl
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
lobotomy pls
Tappahannock, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML
PPP
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Top comments
livgasms 4
classy.
Lukeloveshugs 8
Why didn't you just leave? its not as if she can follow you while taking a dump.
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Comments (188)
livgasms 4
classy.
JesusFishTaco 5
Children are made by pooping?
PRiMARELYiNSANE 0
How original of her...
rickybobby12343 0
I just moderated this
redbluegreen 40
Cool story, #25.
cameycamcam 7
I never got the talk. true story.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
when my kids asked, i would go and rent some pornos, and let them learn that way.
dolphincheddar 10
I don't remember getting the talk. nowadays most kids find out on there own. I know I did.
newzealand 28
OP's mum was just emphasizing the "shit" you can get in when you have unprotected sex
seanders 10
Remember kids, STDs aren't pokemon. Don't catch em all.
ColdplaySucks 18
Health class teaches you all about this so you avoid the actual awkwardness from you parents. yay health class!
TeeHee124 0
Wanky
cfalen 0
62- but what if you wanna be a STD master? you gotta fill up that sexadex.
Trupe 3
I can't take a talk serious if it's coming from a person on the toilet....
artc91 0
If i were your parents, i wouldn't bother either. Purely based on your pic though.
Cokie_the_Clown 5
Why was OP in the washroom when their mom was taking a crap?
OffTJHook3r 2
0______O. walk away. unless your to busy listening to your mom crap
dolphincheddar 10
poopgasm.
KidCudi227 0
yay my story was posted:) Anyway... the door wasn't closed... very awkward :P
dolphincheddar 10
you look a bit old for the bird and bees talk. just saying..
FreezeeMonsta 19
according to mrweebl children are made by pooping out babies :D
borntoperform 14
cool story, #38
KidCudi227 0
haha I'm 15:P
lbumbblebee 5
Who gets the birds and bees talk now a days ?
daisyloo 7
Very classy.
That_helped 4
Me neither. Hey OP mind telling us what your mom said?
sex_and_drugs 11
neither did I
selbow 3
judging by her pic, she could've used the talk 3 years earlier
livgasms 4
15 is way too old to first get that talk from your mum, you'll have been going through puberty for a couple years by then and sex could easily already have happened.
OffTJHook3r 2
151. Are you a ginger in disguise. #call it when I see it.
babyfireball77 14
If you're 15 then your birth date is wrong js. and agreed, looks like its a little late for the talk...
MrsBieber4Life 0
that's gross.
zembof 3
love the name
lirae98 0
what is it?
itsalanis 25
it couldve been worse?
NoodleBurger 0
yes, but it could've been better.
ImaWiseGuy 5
well she eliminated the possibility of you walking off...
toelie 26
The mum was on the toilet, not OP.
DboyCorleone 0
She could have given you the talk while she was bein piledrived by a big blacc guy named jim
WallyTheWombat 0
She could have given you birds and bees while they were taking a dump. That would just be messy, like giving birth to a marshmallow. I hope I've given you all something to think about here...
missmurderx 8
61 ...what?
TwitchingNebula 17
Here is something to think about 62, you're an idiot.
IIIiIII16 0
try 61 bub
TomPusslicker 21
lol swing and a miss
itsalanis 25
Oh my, woe is me for getting the negatives.
nolife77 0
what!!! did she teach you to wipe properly too? :p
flossybaben 0
That sir was a fail. no more to say
musicfreak9821 6
you mean mam, but I agree!
bobbymullet 11
y'all are fails. i thought it was funny(:
Meixpr 12
Back when my mother was around, she'd have these heartfelt conversations with us from the toilet with the door open, so I can easily relate.
deathbydolls 12
Both of my parents were the same way, it became natural to have a heartfelt convo from the bathroom. I figure it helped me a better adult by the openess and honesty of it all
Meixpr 12
I'm not sure if it made me a better person, but it amused me to no end.
coolp3rson 0
did she wear a bandana and sing: sittin' on the toilet!
Lady_Aphrodisia 0
haha completely my mother rarely shuts the door while taking a dump
Lady_Aphrodisia 0
haha completely my mother rarely shuts the door while taking a dump
Meixpr 12
No, she just sat there and read from a magazine sometimes, and would ask me to go over there to check if there was anything I liked from said magazine. At some point, it stopped being alarming. I wish she could've sang something, though.
MsRandomKatie 0
that's just plain awkwardness. and I find it extremely creepy.
Lukeloveshugs 8
Why didn't you just leave? its not as if she can follow you while taking a dump.
ImFrackinBored 13
she can follow... it just wouldn't be fun
NoodleBurger 0
although wouldn't THAT be terrifying.
KiddNYC1O 20
Maybe op was in the shower...
ArentICute 0
What kind of mom goes on the toilet when your in the shower..
KiddNYC1O 20
85- Any normal, loving mom.
Gabbasaur 0
LMFAO.
YacL 15
Look at it this way: she's really comfortable around you. But I think she just doesn't understand how awkward that is.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
I'm trying to figure out how this would work, and why op would be there if her mum was in the middle of sex...
toelie 26
Moderate some FMLs and it will start to make sense to you.
artc91 0
13 - Yup she was having sex in the bathroom and taking a dump at the same time. For real.
MicMic_fml 7
It just gets really boring, taking a shit without reading materials..
allmidnighteyes 10
She made you stay by the door and listen?
Cleao18317 11
the door was probably open
hannahtaskey 9
At least it wasn't while she was having sex.
Nemmycakes 3
Yeah! It's not like she carried him in her body for an extended period of time before pushing him through in incredibly sensitive hole that's too small.
WallyTheWombat 0
Yea I'm sure OP remembers the 9-10 months in the womb, and who can forget their own birth!?
ByteCarter97 0
caesarian section? adoption?
Kingkiwi 5
lmfaoo
Inspired22 11
Apparently she is pretty comfortable around you.
jackiemoonthepro 5
that's a new way if doing it