You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 710
You deserved it 3 379

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Why didn't you just leave? its not as if she can follow you while taking a dump.


Children are made by pooping?

How original of her...

I just moderated this

Cool story, #25.

I never got the talk. true story.

when my kids asked, i would go and rent some pornos, and let them learn that way.

I don't remember getting the talk. nowadays most kids find out on there own. I know I did.

OP's mum was just emphasizing the "shit" you can get in when you have unprotected sex

Remember kids, STDs aren't pokemon. Don't catch em all.

Health class teaches you all about this so you avoid the actual awkwardness from you parents. yay health class!

62- but what if you wanna be a STD master? you gotta fill up that sexadex.

Trupe 3

I can't take a talk serious if it's coming from a person on the toilet....

If i were your parents, i wouldn't bother either. Purely based on your pic though.

Why was OP in the washroom when their mom was taking a crap?

0______O. walk away. unless your to busy listening to your mom crap

yay my story was posted:) Anyway... the door wasn't closed... very awkward :P

you look a bit old for the bird and bees talk. just saying..

FreezeeMonsta 19

according to mrweebl children are made by pooping out babies :D

lbumbblebee 5

Who gets the birds and bees talk now a days ?

Me neither. Hey OP mind telling us what your mom said?

sex_and_drugs 11

neither did I

judging by her pic, she could've used the talk 3 years earlier

15 is way too old to first get that talk from your mum, you'll have been going through puberty for a couple years by then and sex could easily already have happened.

151. Are you a ginger in disguise. #call it when I see it.

If you're 15 then your birth date is wrong js. and agreed, looks like its a little late for the talk...

MrsBieber4Life 0

that's gross.

zembof 3

love the name

it couldve been worse?

yes, but it could've been better.

ImaWiseGuy 5

well she eliminated the possibility of you walking off...

The mum was on the toilet, not OP.

She could have given you the talk while she was bein piledrived by a big blacc guy named jim

WallyTheWombat 0

She could have given you birds and bees while they were taking a dump. That would just be messy, like giving birth to a marshmallow. I hope I've given you all something to think about here...

missmurderx 8

61 ...what?

Here is something to think about 62, you're an idiot.

lol swing and a miss

Oh my, woe is me for getting the negatives.

nolife77 0

what!!! did she teach you to wipe properly too? :p

That sir was a fail. no more to say

you mean mam, but I agree!

bobbymullet 11

y'all are fails. i thought it was funny(:

Back when my mother was around, she'd have these heartfelt conversations with us from the toilet with the door open, so I can easily relate.

deathbydolls 12

Both of my parents were the same way, it became natural to have a heartfelt convo from the bathroom. I figure it helped me a better adult by the openess and honesty of it all

I'm not sure if it made me a better person, but it amused me to no end.

did she wear a bandana and sing: sittin' on the toilet!

Lady_Aphrodisia 0

haha completely my mother rarely shuts the door while taking a dump

Lady_Aphrodisia 0

haha completely my mother rarely shuts the door while taking a dump

No, she just sat there and read from a magazine sometimes, and would ask me to go over there to check if there was anything I liked from said magazine. At some point, it stopped being alarming. I wish she could've sang something, though.

MsRandomKatie 0

that's just plain awkwardness. and I find it extremely creepy.

Why didn't you just leave? its not as if she can follow you while taking a dump.

ImFrackinBored 13

she can follow... it just wouldn't be fun

although wouldn't THAT be terrifying.

KiddNYC1O 20

Maybe op was in the shower...

What kind of mom goes on the toilet when your in the shower..

KiddNYC1O 20

85- Any normal, loving mom.

Gabbasaur 0


Look at it this way: she's really comfortable around you. But I think she just doesn't understand how awkward that is.

I'm trying to figure out how this would work, and why op would be there if her mum was in the middle of sex...

Moderate some FMLs and it will start to make sense to you.

13 - Yup she was having sex in the bathroom and taking a dump at the same time. For real.

It just gets really boring, taking a shit without reading materials..

She made you stay by the door and listen?

the door was probably open

At least it wasn't while she was having sex.

Yeah! It's not like she carried him in her body for an extended period of time before pushing him through in incredibly sensitive hole that's too small.

WallyTheWombat 0

Yea I'm sure OP remembers the 9-10 months in the womb, and who can forget their own birth!?

caesarian section? adoption?

Inspired22 11

Apparently she is pretty comfortable around you.

jackiemoonthepro 5

that's a new way if doing it