Today, I previewed the website my twin brother created and emailed to all our wedding guests. Under his bridal party introduction, he had written, "Mike and Steve first met when they were high-fiving their way out of their mother's vagina." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my fiancé's mother's funeral. His step-sister proudly announced that she's pregnant with his baby and they are engaged. FML
Today, I took my new boyfriend to my step-sister's wedding. He knew more people there than I did, including 3 bridesmaids he used to sleep with. FML
Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, my brother announced his engagement. I'm going to be the Maid of Honor. My ex, who told me after five years of dating that he didn't believe in marriage, is going to be the Best Man. I get to walk down the aisle with him. FML
Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML
Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML
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Top comments
Geyutsa 7
Sorry op, but that is hilarious!
Matthew Smith 13
Your brother is a hero amongst men. Although I’m sorry if this has caused issues with the new wife
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Comments (9)
Geyutsa 7
Sorry op, but that is hilarious!
Matthew Smith 13
Your brother is a hero amongst men. Although I’m sorry if this has caused issues with the new wife
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why are you marrying your twin brother? And who high-fives when they're leaving a ******?
RichardPencil 32
I wonder why you chose Anonymous when we know that you are Mike or Steve. It's too bad you weren't a Groom-zilla, a control freak with an obsessive grip of every aspect of your wedding. You'd have shut down Mike or Steve from publishing that inappropriate crap.
Alan Staff 60
I have to comment on this one because I'm surprised at all the people getting confused. The important words are "bridal PARTY". "A bridal party is a group of people chosen by the couple to participate in the wedding." He's presenting himself and his brother, who is the one getting married (and the brother writing the funny sentence is probably the best man or something). Nothing to do with who's marrying who.
idragosani 17
Crude but pretty damn funny!