Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a party that had a "dress like rock stars" theme. I got all the gear necessary to dress as Ozzy Osbourne. A wig, round sunglasses, a crucifix on beads, the usual stuff. Not one person at the party knew who Ozzy Osbourne was. Nor Black Sabbath for that matter. Someone thought I was Meatloaf. FML
Today, at work, a customer commented that I look like Zach Galifianakis. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, I went out in public for the first time since getting new glasses. I was mistaken for Jeff Goldblum at least a dozen times. The first few times it was amusing, but now I can see why being famous is such a headache sometimes. FML
Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML
Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML
Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
Don't buy Lennon/Ozzy shades and expect not to be compared to them.
brrrx 0
That's not SO bad, they had feminine hair at least. Could be worse...
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Comments (99)
shewasalmost18 0
can i buy some bats from you, mr.osbourne? i've been wanting to eat some
yaktazuki 0
ROFL
kre8tv 0
this is great particularly because john lennon and ozzy did NOT look alike.
jessxoxo28 5
LOL the sunglasses r a keeper ;)
Sock_fml 0
You got compared to the people who wear the same glasses you were wearing?!?!?!?!? Wow mabye that explains why people say I look like micheal Jackson when I wear a surgical mask and single glove. Being compared to men for wearing mens sunglasses, my god how ever do you manage to carry on with your life rather than crying in your room and writing pathetic fmls?
flinkpamingo 0
Honey, they were probably talking about the sun glasses themselves. I'm sure you look beautiful in them. When someone says that ask them if it's the style or how they change your appearance.
persephone13 0
Ok, first of all--the Jackass guys are no good at picking FMLs. These are some of the most boring ones I've ever read (to be fair, they get a bit more interesting as you scroll down...) And second, I'll never understand why people submit stupid things like this to FML. Granted, not everyone has "Jerry Springer" moments--you find out your fiancee cheated on you the day before your wedding. At his bachelor party. With the stripper. Who was your mom. :P But stuff like this is just silly compared to even the tamest FMLs! OP--they were commenting on how the sunglasses are like the ones that John Lennon and Ozzy wear--I would have told you the same thing. If you really think their comments are a reflection of how feminine you look, then perhaps you have self-esteem issues.
adlauren 0
...did you by any chance get these sunglasses as a party favor or out of a gumball machine?
AAAAHHHH12 2
Exactly. Lennon was the BOMB. You should be grateful for such a honorary comparison.
annamg 0
YDI for wearing stupid glasses like that.