Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to a party that had a "dress like rock stars" theme. I got all the gear necessary to dress as Ozzy Osbourne. A wig, round sunglasses, a crucifix on beads, the usual stuff. Not one person at the party knew who Ozzy Osbourne was. Nor Black Sabbath for that matter. Someone thought I was Meatloaf. FML
Today, at work, a customer commented that I look like Zach Galifianakis. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML
Today, I went out in public for the first time since getting new glasses. I was mistaken for Jeff Goldblum at least a dozen times. The first few times it was amusing, but now I can see why being famous is such a headache sometimes. FML
Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML
Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML
Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
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Top comments
alex_vik 1
Don't buy Lennon/Ozzy shades and expect not to be compared to them.
brrrx 0
That's not SO bad, they had feminine hair at least. Could be worse...
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Comments (99)
madturtle 0
OZZY RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ellysa_fml 0
It's the shades not your face.
Chesterfield_fml 0
lol Is that you, Ashley? Ozzy & John are cool, this isn't a FML!
lessthanbee 0
who the *** says the bomb anymore, lol? that comment made me laugh more than the fml. not that lennon isn't the fukin man, i'm just sayin....and op: u knew what u were doin when u bought little circle glasses, quit crying. ytdi.
PeteyRiverstool 0
...Your life doesn't suck because of that. Honestly. Not that you really deserved it, but not fml
Sunnyinthesky 0
I would be honoredif someone said I look like John Lennon. He was kinda super sexy. And even for a girl it's not that bad his hair started getting long and he didn't have an ugly face. As for Ozzy, not so much.
meddude 0
way to pick a mature name, OP.
Smurfin_Lennon 0
Johnny, what a stud!♥ :)
erinexclaims 0
haha, take that as a complement.
MiniatureMayhem 0
Though it's well past the seventies, you should be happy to have been compared to John Lennon.
Beatlesndoherty 0
John was sexy! And his hair was long, once I had a side veiw pic and I thought he was Yoko for a second (I mentally slapped myself, don't worry). I'm going to dig up my Lennon glasses, BRB