Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Well...fork.
pratikp03 22
Excited much?
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Comments (104)
A07 48
Woah, slow down tiger.
Joshery 14
You must have REALLY liked that girl
lil_ham1644 29
Or boy
thevelociraptor 31
Idk why people are down voting #60. Op never specified a gender. I hope y'all aren't being sexist.
VeganDarkLight 31
That would be homophobia, not sexism I think. But yeah, you're right, it could have been a guy as well.
robd007 20
I don't think a girl would say that she "blew a load." lol
thevelociraptor 31
Nope sexism can happen to men as well. The word is just more commonly used with women.
604 11
Give OP the benefit of the doubt; maybe they were ladling? Ladle = a deep spoon.
slapintheface69 11
Best pun ever
salamancer 11
Nice guys are supposed to cuddle, but also supposed to finish last. Seems like you can't win op
minesbiggerr 25
NIGAHIGA reference ftw
Fou_Lou 20
So? Continue Spooning. Give her/him a good time if you both want to actually have sex and when youre done with pleasuring her/him youre ready to go again.
CoGhostRider 31
At least you didn't need a smoke break.
CoGhostRider 31
And yes I will use this any chance I get.
Mauskau 36
I too like to talk to myself.
CoGhostRider 31
And I hate getting interrupted.
Ki11erC 18
Aww. Go back to your cave, the writings on the wall don't combo break.
8Dirty1 24
hit it with the fork...skirt
scottyboy417 19
Someone is a bit trigger happy.
rob_twist_1986 4
Oh man, That's rough.
VeganDarkLight 31
Doesn't matter, had sex? Oh wait... No, seriously, if I was that girl I would've taken it as a compliment. But if it bothers you that much, just ********** the next time before meeting her, it might help. And if she laughed at you or something alike, she isn't worth it.
CoGhostRider 31
So if I can from looking at your profile you would find that a compliment? Uh, Not saying I did I'm just trying out your logic.
VeganDarkLight 31
Would be weird since I didn't even upload any pics, but go for it if you like...
Crypticedge 6
I think more of free was referring to since you're a girl and you'd find it a complement, not anything about your looks. I know when I finish earlier than planned, I finish my girl off, and then sometimes I'm ready again.
VeganDarkLight 31
That first sentence of your comment confuses me :D I've had guys cumming pretty fast, during foreplay or within the first seconds of "the act" and I've always taken it as some kind of compliment. I really don't get what's so embarassing about it to a lot of people. I once even had to comfort my partner, he was seriously close to crying because it made him "feel unmanly". Like you said, you can almost always go for a second round, and if not there are other ways to please a women.