By missca - 16/12/2014 04:35 - Australia - Salisbury
missca_fml tells us more.
Hey all I'm the OP, in hindsight I should have put that my Nan recently passed away, it was a couple of days earlier, and the website insists all FMLs are started with "today". Rest assured I didn't simply find out my Nan died and proceed to have sex!
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That's a ridiculous response with our limited information we know 1. He came over after she told him her grandma died 2. They had sex 3. He then made a clearly insensitive remark about her grandma or at least a joke in extremely poor taste. I expect about a -100 response but I find it a bit disgusting that this is an acceptable way to comfort your significant other to so many of you. There were other ways to comfort her and it comes off more likely that he at least slightly took advantage of her being in a vulnerable state. I know sometimes people have sex for comfort but personally I'd never sleep with someone that was distressed or possibly crying over a relative they had JUST found out passed away
And there probably many more pople who find it disgusting. Comforting is a very personal and subjective thing an changes from human to human. Some like being distracted with sex for example. To some sex isnt that big of a deal as it seems to be for you.Some like the other to cheer them up. and some wouldnt even consider the remark as insensitive and just laught with him. I for once find it acceptable too as long it come from both sides and the other isnt pressured in having sex.
I cannot speak for every case but it's the intimacy from sex that's generally wanted in these cases not the pleasure of it which is my point, you could comfort your significant other by showing her you are there for her and care about her and are sad for her loss and pain. Going off of his response which again at best is just a poor joke that he clearly didn't think ahead to her feelings before saying it so in my mind him having sex with her wasn't to comfort her (again if he was actively thinking about how she may have been feeling about her loss he would not have said something like that that could potentially upset her) but simply to feel good himself or at best he could be simple enough to think sex would just make her feel better without understanding why or what she might actually get out of it therefor negating the actual connection they were supposed to be sharing
The FML doesnt say how the sex was initiated. It could be her that have wanted sex with him. Given the wording of the FML it seems that the sex was actually ok for her as Comfort regardless of who began. Just the sentence he said after that wasnt. which is quite understandable.