Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Prize
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Confusing
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
He's the problem
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Antidate
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
Top comments
gemmaiscoolguys 5
I for one wouldn't want anal sex on my period either.
nyxiny 22
It's not like you're entitled to back rubs... Don't be like that.
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Comments (258)
IscoreOnU 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Two can play at that game missy. Maybe if he gave you a back rub he'd get a little somethin somethin. Maybe if you gave him a little somethin somethin you might get a back rub. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
uhhSavage 22
I totally agree, if you're gonna dish it out, be able to take it back.
Ajwc101 24
The egg.
THuD29 4
48-rhetorical question
_1296 10
48- and according to you, where exactly did the egg come from?
_1296 10
And what did the chicken it came from come out of? The point of the question is that it keeps going on, so there is no real answer.
Phoebe_Buffay 14
The chicken. It's the only thing that could provide the protein which the egg is made of.
deathhill3 40
Technically the egg came first as dinosaurs laid eggs before chickens were on earth =P
CareFace 16
False. The chicken is a lie.
tacopandaroo 12
Actually, when you have sex on your period, the blood flow usually slows down. Also, it helps with cramps c:
IscoreOnU 19
68- and you don't need lube or anything. Not to mention the it usually is realllly good for the girl.
mudkipsan 19
The chicken came first. Chickens are notorious for premature ejaculation. Didn't you pay attention during biology?
fmessiah 19
Something that wasn't quite a chicken laid an egg. The egg then hatched and out popped the chicken. So the answer is the egg, because it's parents weren't chickens, but a chicken hatched out.
Pleonasm 35
^DINGDINGDING We have a winner
NeatNit 32
How do you define 'chicken egg'? If it's an egg that produces a chick (which later grows into a chicken) then you're right, but what if it's an egg laid by a chicken? In that case the chicken came first.
Wizzlbang 10
Actually, if we go by evolution and selective breeding that resulted in the domestic chicken, It was the Egg. What laid the egg would be the very last junglefowl in its lineage before it's children could be considered truly domesticated.
deloria_fml 22
Here's a thought: Not all girls are alike and not all girls have the same amount of pain or cramping and are capable of enjoying sex while on their period. Get a brain.
ragini95 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
don't hate me but they've proven it was the chicken so that phrase is outt.
tomhofer 14
How exactly did they prove that ^
IscoreOnU 19
Actually 127 they proved it was. And google^ lmao
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
THANK YOU, 85. Damn. Saved me the trouble of pointing that out.
kishorekumar_a 10
85 - Like a Boss...
Schiffy 18
85 - at least someone here understands the basics of evolution.
cooterpie 11
68- 'also, it helps with cramps.' Thats complete bullshit, for me at least. It may work some women but I'm certainly not one.
JanisEvans 10
There is an answer. And it's indeed the egg. It came out of whatever step of evolution came before today's chicken. But today's chicken indeed started with an egg that made an evolutionary jump. Nothing rhetorical about it.
JanisEvans 10
It helps with the cramps alright, but it definitely doesn't slow down the blood flow. Quite the opposite, really.
conqueror57 11
The average woman loses something like 2 oz of fluid over the 5-7 days of her period. The amount of blood is not an issue; the problem is so societal issues making people think a woman on her period is "icky." It's not that much different than any other time of the month.
squideth 18
Thank you 122. I'm sick of everyone thinking that period sex is amazing for every woman out there no matter what. It's not.
mrccss 9
Hahahahahahahahaha get owned ;) nothings free anymore :P
FlyingTortoise 2
If the guy gets something, I bet he'll be the one to come.
DeathPiggy8694 7
Actually there is an answer but even the answers debatable Look up which came first the chicken or the egg on YouTube you should find it
hopebell 1
I feel bad for OP. I get the back rub thing cause when I'm on my period the pain gets to the point of making me puke. Plus why can't he wait a day or two to get laid. Periods only last 3-7 days and it sounds like OP is a few days in. But if the hand pain in true then OP needs to sympathize too. Sorry my comments so long :)
Mister_Grimm 10
Still gross as hell, tried it with the wife once, all I could see was the scene from the shining
raspberryboo 10
not really the blood is not really like a lubricant it actually feels kinda friction like and I seriously doubt it helps with cramps
BEATLEJUICE98 4
#48 then please tell me where the egg came from?
TeddyBeaRx666x 3
Clearly the Rooster came first, otherwise the egg wouldn't have been fertilized. xD
ThisIsCarlJr 9
the cheg
HowAreYouToday 34
Dude, you're on your period and even you FML makes you sound like a bitch
youllnvrkno 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That was a quick comeback. Unfortunately, your boyfriend doesn't realize that favors are usually repaid when the time is right. Fyl
enormouselephant 15
I took the two hole thing to mean anal.
AKGirlinSD 20
^ As did I. Then I realized a ******** would be the second hole. OP should expect to give back if her boyfriend is willing to give her a massage with his sore hands. Give and take are important in any relationship.
OptimusVader 23
Give and take is necessary for a relationship. For me, I don't like sex on my period, so I give him a ******* or two every day I'm on it. So then the rest of the month he takes care of me ;) (when able of course)
Ryodin 11
136- You are a wonderful person.
xmaximusx 12
Lameo
Tummystix 4
136- Faith in women restored.
Numerion 6
if only my gf was like you...she is like "I'll repay you sometime later..." ... didn't get a ******* in like 2 months...last time it was after I complained about not getting any for months....
nyxiny 22
It's not like you're entitled to back rubs... Don't be like that.
happle 21
He's not entitled to sex either.
nyxiny 22
I didn't say he was. But if I was asked to do something like that when my hands were hurting, I would probably retort similarly.
randii_17 11
True, though many girls experience terrible back pain when they have their period, so perhaps she was a bit desperate for a massage to relieve the pain.
nyxiny 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I have severe chronic pain in my entire body-- mostly in my back and neck-- but when my ex-boyfriend said his hands hurt and he couldn't give me a massage, I accepted it and moved on.
alycion 38
Instead of depending on my husband for a massage, I joined a local massage spa. With chronic pain, it does help. And someone professionally trained dies a better job then someone who isn't.
buckerado 19
You can't have one without the other...
alfred07 18
111- that implies that sex is just something that she does for his benefit
MaydayParadexx 18
180- Who the hell is 111? No one on this thread has that number.
brenkite 5
87- they die a better job, oh god, what have we done?
alfred07 18
Huh, so you're right. I have no idea where I got 111 from, I meant #8
gemmaiscoolguys 5
I for one wouldn't want anal sex on my period either.
IscoreOnU 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think he meant oral. Well honestly it could be either, but if I said it I'd mean oral.
thatfrenchguy 8
A great man once said, "when the river runs red, take the dirt road"
meekthekit 6
32- have some class.
thatfrenchguy 8
Don't worry 38, I accept your apology
BntyHntrSeattle 30
38@ 32: more like, "Wants some ass," don't ya think? ;)
AKGirlinSD 20
32, I'm going to be using that line. I can't stop laughing.
marxistbkly 3
Well first she is from France not Greece so her bf probably meant oral. Second OP b can't count since there are at least three holes to be used on the average female.
jwa2000 3
Well he didn't mean both or he would have said three holes
ihaveasushicat 24
#32 that is one I've never heard before. lol!
merryhappy1887 20
don't expect a back rub without a ******** lol.
chosha_fml 26
That guy wasn't great. That guy was a gross, insensitive prick.
conqueror57 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why "can't" you have sex on your period? It's not like a little blood is going to burn his penis off...
madisonnnnn13 11
As a girl with a period, I wouldn't want to because its icky and gross. Just saying.
photoquilty 6
Because having sex while on the rag is messy and doesn't feel that great.
Myo_fml 20
I don't see the problem. Seems like it'd produce more lubrication.
pheebs314 17
To be honest, I'm feeling bloated and uncomfortable on my period. I don't want to have sex when I feel fat, nauseous, and sore. It has very little to do with the blood.
Myo_fml 20
Eh, I only feel that way for about the first two days. I guess each is different though. I'm riding the cotton pony right now too so... Woman power I guess?... Yeah.
Samanthawk 8
Think of it as right after a guy cums, his dick is super sensitive, but not in the "oh yeah baby" way. When a girl is on her period everything is about 10x more sensitive but not in a good way.
conqueror57 11
For the record, I am a woman. I know what sex on my period is like for me, and honestly, if I pop a couple advil in the morning, a day with my period is no different than any other day. Throw down an old towel or bang against the wall.
dr_snow_bear 29
Have you ever rubbed blood between your fingers? It gets dry and crusty pretty quick.
rogerdodgeroz 4
Who asked if you'd like it ?
SillyGirl4602 23
Who asked you to be rude?
AKGirlinSD 20
Shower sex is the answer for when the lady is on her period. Easy clean up and fun positions.
ophel1a 7
either people don't give a shit, or they think it's gross. one of those rare black and white issues in the world. ;P and as a regularly-bleeding woman, i like sex on my period (my sexytime hormones are in full swing that time of the month); husband doesn't, so shower sex is the best compromise. helps a ton with the cramps, tell ya what.
ashhfrgvbdgovss 6
I guess... But I think once I was in the mood it would be a lot better than lying around in agony...
TheMathMajor 26
#33, period blood has more in it than normal blood, it doesn't dry up like normal blood would, if it did that would make periods even more uncomfortable.
5t3ff1k4h 44
It's uncomfortable. Nuff said.
Pilkipedia 8
What a lady!
tnf0920 9
People that think it's gross or horrible have obviously never tried it.
TrilliousDivine 9
Eeew I wouldnt even want Anal sex PERIOD!!!!
natsaysheyyy 16
If you're having cramps AND bleeding all over the bed and your own legs...I would just rather not have sex. Besides, period blood has a distinct odor that can not be arousing to ANYONE.
kay71095 9
When I have sex on my period, it dries up very fast and starts burning . So no a period does not keep you lubricated.
lochiamochia 25
Having sex on your period really isn't all that bad. Yeah, the smell and blood can be a turn-off factor, but if the girl is a light-bleeder it doesn't get as messy as people assume to believe. If the girl takes a bath prior to intercourse, most of the blood is cleaned off dependent upon which day of her period she is on. Prohibiting sex with a menstrating woman is a social taboo. Just like anal, of course it will have a certain 'gross' factor. Each time a man enters into any orifice of a woman there is always a possibility of fluids being exchanged: Saliva, feces, blood, mucus, snot, earwax, semen, urine. Don't bump it till you hump it.
cappellaaa 23
cause it's disgusting...?
cappellaaa 23
not true. it's messy and gross. everyone e is entitled to their own opinions
spidercat_14 12
It can cause the woman immense pain.
madisonnnnn13 11
Looks like someone needs to take Sex Ed again.
420Zombie 17
I don't think op's knowledge of sex is the issue here...
SillyGirl4602 23
Why would either of them need to take Sex Ed again?
GSpotMach 8
Looks like someone needs some anal sex.
X_Codes 11
Even sans-girlfriend, I know that some girls just don't feel like having sex on their period.
pheebs314 17
I'm on my period, and I can't even sympathize with you... That's how rude you come off in your own version of events.
AngelSpit 18
At least I'm not the only one who thought she was being a little bitchy about that back rub
AKGirlinSD 20
I agree. Isn't being bitchy apparent while the lady has a cork in her or, at least, expected?
dontpanic_fml 32
Well, I'm with you guys. I am surprised at how much sympathy the OP is garnering from the commenters. She comes off as entitled and bitchy.
jem970 19
Yeah I mean I would never be that bad. I was bleeding for a month solid because of my first round on the depo shot and my boyfriend and I were fine. She needs to stop being so whiny.
sleepyolivia 14
92: I experience huge mood swings on my period which make me really angry, but even then I just grit my teeth and face it, as does every girl who has some sort of shred of manners.
VancouverGuy89 9
Technically you have 3 holes right?!.
SWC_Penguin 17
Technically, 8, but I don't think any of us want to get that technical.
420Zombie 17
well if you're going to throw technicality into this then you need to include ears & nostrils
dr_snow_bear 29
Wait... what holes are you counting. Ears and nostrils =8
OhDearBetrayal 25
35- For a woman? To get to eight you include your two ear canals, two nostrils, mouth, your pee hole, vag hole, and of course your dirt road.
dr_snow_bear 29
I know, I'm wondering what the other guy was counting to get to 8 with out the ears and nose.
andyyroxx 20
Eye sockets. Ah, ****, that is too disturbing.
dangerika93 11
Don't forget the belly button #37 :D
j_cat187 19
And the millions of sweat glands.
drewflav 17
Men = 9, women = 10. 2 eyes, two ears, two nostrils, mouth, genitals, butt. Women have the extra hole down there since pee doesn't come out of the ****** obviously :) I'm not counting the belly button nor sweat glands.
klimpomppp 9
47-not for me 3:)
VancouverGuy89 9
Doing it blonde style
challan 19
(sexually) she has three holes, hands, a tongue, an ass crack and for some...feet. I think if she gives, she'll receive.
conqueror57 11
Don't forget titty *******.
McFappin 6
Right.
photoquilty 6
Your first response was a little...unnecessarily short. I'm not advocating for anal sex, but maybe you could've been nicer when asking for something. Also, you have three holes - don't forget your mouth.
Needafarm 22
Just because she has three holes doesn't mean she would feel like sucking him off while throwing up from her ******. Not to mention, why is it about him the whole month when she has to have a period. Some women get terrible migraines, cramps, and nausea while on their cycle. So I can understand why she wouldn't want to give him what he wants when she might be feeling shitty.
hellobobismyname 24
44, I'm not sure if I understand you correctly. Are you saying a woman has her period for a month? Ô.o
AKGirlinSD 20
It's possible to have a period for longer than a month, due to trying new birth control. Sadly, I'm speaking from personal experience. But it isn't common.
cblock94 7
My mother used to, and still does, have her period for 3 weeks and has 1 week off. She's not on any birth control, it's just how her body works. What I'm trying to say is every woman's period is different.
neeni88 23
44, I totally agree with you! I can't understand why most people seem to be advocating that the woman should find other ways to please the man with her other two holes, while the one is "out of service" ...as if it's her obligation. How about this? How about the man try being a bit more understanding and not just think of his own pleasure before thinking about how she feels! If a woman wants to engage in sexual activities on her period, it should be because she actually wants to, not because she feels she has to in order to keep the man satisfied! Like seriously, it's only 7 days at most (for the average woman)!
Helldemon 32
@44 so wait, it's ok if she doesn't give him what he wants because she is feeling shitty but he should when his hand is hurting and going to hurt it more trying to give her a back rub?